Francis Howell High School
a public high school in weldon spring, missouri that is touted as one of the oldest schools west of the mississippi river. apparently, the people touting this fact don’t realize that age compliments the school. asbestos rains from the ceilings like december snow and there are surely bodies hidden within the walls. gorgeous brick architecture, accented by bird droppings, gives the students something to look forward to every morning. the buildings themselves are ancient wonders; an old hangar was converted into a gym (which is also old, see how that works?), and the rest of the campus was probably constructed in a rome-esque fashion.
the scenery surrounding the school certainly can’t be complained about. an absolutely fantastic, man made lake is housed a convenient 50 feet from the campus, br-mm-ng with sorry, dilapidated, fish and equally as many beer cans. a monumental nuclear waste pile nicely accents the color of the white foam formed around students’ mouths as they sit through seven hours of world cl-ss education and the water fountains are an experience unto themselves.
francis howell high school brochure: here you can find 19th century architecture, man made lakes, fields, forests, and a m-ssive testament to human engineering.
reality: not so much.
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