friend zone syndrome
an affliction where a patient uses “friend zone” unironically.
the patient sees friendships with people of s-xual appeal as a failure.
in fact, this is actually a symptom of a number of other hidden problems (failure to meet new people regularly, failure to negotiate s-xuality in an upfront way, failure to enjoy the sorts of people one is interested in sleeping with, and so on)
a: “someone i know isn’t giving me s-x. i mean, i haven’t been upfront, because i fear even polite rejection… but the only thing i want from them is s-x, and they’re the only person i am going to meet this year. please, help me get out of the friend zone!”
b: “that’s your problem: you’ve got friend zone syndrome.”
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