Fuck up the Donuts
to prevent coworkers from receiving a cheap incentive (often free donuts) proposed by their employer in exchange for being “accident free” for a prescribed period of time. such miniscule incentives often inadvertently encourage employees not to report potentially serious injuries and not to visit doctors on the company’s dime, for fear of hostility of coworkers who have by now begun to value such incentives above each other’s well-being.
guy 1: ouch, i think i cut my hand. i’m going to have to report it to management.
guy 2: oh great, now we’re going to be back to 0 days accident free. way to f-ck up the donuts!
guy 1: yeah she slipped and fell. it broke her neck.
guy 2: so what? we were only 3 days away from free donuts and she f-cked it up.
guy 1: here come the emts with her now.
guy 2: way to f-ck up the donuts, lady! thanks a lot!
guy 1: dude, you’re bleeding like a stuck pig!
guy 2: i’ll be fine. just give me some paper towels and duct tape. hurry, before a manager sees this and makes me report it. i don’t want to f-ck up the donuts.
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