garbus
to be unexpectedly doused in marinara sauce
as it was tuesday, marvin donned his cashmere scarf and took to his weekly stroll down amsterdam avenue. he p-ssed his favorite bakery, the cloying scent tugging on his steady resolve to lose those last few pounds…
*gasp* could it be? merrill garbus swooping down from the scaffolding, decked in mylar and rage — but what is she wielding? what could only be a weed wacker of sorts – and sploosh! a tomato-based turbulence! a saucy spritz!
our dear marvin, taken down in a marinara monsoon!
reeling from the overwhelming stench of garlic and humiliation, marvin stayed, splayed on the ground like some tipped cow, and considered his peculiar situation. if only marvin had taken the homeless woman’s advice from the day prior… and packed his mozzarella sticks.
“yes, dear marvin, you’ve been garbused.”
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