Gill St. Bernard’s

one of few places in north america where snowb-lls are fatal, untucked shirts will condemn you, and fun comes to die. but fortunatly, we did produce bobby papazian.
preppy kid: where should we go if we want to look rich, not throw snowb-lls, and kill off fun?
another preppy kid: i’m way ahead of you. i already have our names on the extensive waiting list for gill st. bernard’s.
okay, so everyone is saying we are preppy girls and dudes who live off of daddy’s money. but some of us actually work hard to get the good grades to get into that school!

okay, so some of us have been there since pre-k and are so stupid they don’t deserve to be there. there are so many other kids who would love to get in!
gil st. bernard’s is a school for the people who are smart enough to be able to get in. it has about 72 acres and many resources. stop hatin on us!!
gill st. bernard’s school has some pretty smart students.
n. an extremely wealthy and affluent private k-12 school located in gladstone, new jersey. extremely small, gill is known for its unseemingly tiny population of sheltered rich kids with popped collars and birkenstocks, who leave high school well versed in the menu at dunkin donuts, the seasonal colors for lacoste’s fall season, how to be an incredible elitist, and every crevice of the bridgewater commons and far hills malls. nonetheless, a small population of gill is composed of stoners and hippies with rich grandfathers who pay for their educations. cocaine and marijuana are drugs of choice.
she attended gill st. bernard’s for fourteen years, then went to rutgers/drew, then lived off of daddy’s money for the rest of her life.
an extremely affluent, small, private k-12 school located in gladstone, nj. made up of 72 acres, it has 2 streams, horses, two gymnasiums, and facilities you would see at a college. sheltered rich kids go here and are all too caught up with grades and having the best designer wear. “partying” is not what normal teenagers would call it, but gill kids think its hardcore anyway. our soccer team is godly, along with tennis, cross-country, and basketball. not to mention our theater department kicks -ss too with numerous rising star awards from the papermill playhouse. the “hockenbury” building has a student cafe/lounge and library that has a fireplace and lounge area, stained gl-ss on the book shelves, and laptops for student use. basically, you can’t go here unless you are loaded. cl-sses end mid-may and then you have “unit” which can mean traveling to a foreign country for 2 weeks and staying in nice hotels (nothing low cl-ss for us). kids here are typical private school kids, naive and living off of daddy’s money, never having to work a day. gill kids know how to work the system though, so watch out.
tom: where do you go to school?
jim: i go to gill st. bernard’s, of course.
tom: you mean that rich school? d-mn i wish i could go there, but i’m not rich enough or smart enough!
a day school in new jersey for wealthy kids who are smarter than the public school kids. only for kids who plan to be successful in their future, and only for people who want to work none and earn millions. if you want a manual labor job, check out black river.
kid 1: where do you go to school?
kid 2: gill st bernards.

kid 1: lucky! i go to black river, like the rest of my moron friends.
daycare where education comes to die. rich kids think they don’t need to learn and they don’t end up learning. gill caters exactly to that. the teaching is lame, teachers hate their jobs (in all lower, middle and upper schools); it’s usually in the last two months that anything of value is taught in the cl-ssroom. some teachers are ex-gill students.. shows how great their education was- it couldn’t even get them another job! teachers are jealous of the kids and it shows. they do everything possible to stay behind state standard curriculums. kids are mostly left to themselves. resources are squandered on repeat mailings asking for exorbitant donations or to buy lottery tickets for cheap trinkets that even our dogs could afford. even with all that wealth, educational standards are practically behind every other public school in the state, if not the nation. science and math is non-existent, so if you want you kid to apply to dental school or get into a financial math program, this is not the place. they have way too much drama to do anyone any good, except the liberal arts crowd that ends up at rutgers (if even that) or raritan community college (if even that). everything is catered to pleasing the prada parents who anyway aren’t around most of the time to care what their kids are doing. it used to be a girls’ school for theater studies… what would you expect?
you can count on your fingers the number of gill st. bernard’s graduates that have gone on to (and graduated from) any top-thirty (let alone top-ten) undergraduate colleges or universities in the past two decades. that should tell you a lot about the emphasis gill places on education of the mind. send your kids to school here and forget about them.