Glendive
one of many small towns located in the big–ss state known as montana, where there are more cows than peoples and those peoples makes fun of white peoples even tho they’re all white too. indians roam here(watch out–they’ll scalp ya). bluffos run here, wild and fluffy as they’re fluff blows like fluff in the wind. well, okay, there aren’t really in glendive, but w/e. in this small town there also exists a strange specimin known as el “teenager,” a rare mysterious creature that may have rainbows for hair, sing loudly in cars, giggle incessantly, and do random things. no! i am not a teenager. i’m a man. a biiiig strong man(said with a deep, black voice, cha).
glendive? where’s that?
montana.
montana? where’s that?
exactly.
a small, mosquito-infested h-ll hole in eastern montana. home to approximately 6,000 materialistic, unintelligent, ignorant rednecks whom rarely venture beyond billings, montana, or bismarck, north dakota. when in fact they do escape the confines of glendive, most “city folk” view their men as incompetent, close-minded hillbillies, and their women as overly made-up, “fake-baked” wh-r-s with terrible grammar.
glendive is home to the dawson county school district, an integral part of making sure young glendivians continue their education at dawson community college (a mediocre community college also in glendive) or at one of montana’s bottom-ranked state schools, providing a never-ending supply of ignorant, soph-m-ric morons to keep glendive’s twilight zone-esque economy afloat.
wow! you’re from montana? it must be awesome!” “no, i’m from glendive. it sucks.
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