Gonzalez

gonzalez is a strong hispanic last name, meaning “of war”
so to h-ll with the haters!
– you know who this is
i wish i could be a gonzalez!!
that gonzalez is so fine!
a name for any mexican who smokes weed
guy to friends: look at the mexican smoking weed!

guy to mexican: hey gonzalez, p-ss the doobie.

mexican: ttt. hey foo’, back away way..
a latino “man” who constantly forgets everything, his keys, gl-sses, etc… according to tradition he must have his room and sink dirty and smelly at least 360 days of the year. in order to finish some of the excessive meals a gonzalez would eat he must evacuate his bowls midway through the meal to expand the capacity of his stomach. the gonzalez creature has been known to consume over 200 pounds of raw meat in a serving. you can tell you are dealing with a gonzalez by his distinct smell which originates mainly from the foot area. it has been attempted to eradicate this smell with ultra-strength deodorizers however all attempts have failed (see skunk). gonzalez’s have not evolved to the point where walking on 2 feet is comfortable, the gonzalez will frequently stumble or trip while attempting to move. a gonzalez is able to drink an entire bottle of tequila in one night and remain sensible; however depriving a gonzalez of even one hour of sleep can have detrimental affects to both coordination and mental capacity. a common belief of the gonzalez is that g-d = 2k+1.

a gonzalez is also handicaped when it comes to cooking meals. (re-heating would be a more appropriate term) frequently the gonzalez burns food while it is pre occupied with other things. this contributes to the dirty smell of his environment.
person: hey gonzalez do you have that pen i let you borrow?
gonzalez: uhhmmm…. -30 min later and an upside down room- i found it!

person: forget something?
gonzalez: my key!!

gonzalez: -knock- -knock-
person: gonz if that is you i am not openning the door, f-ck off.

gonzalez your shoes smell like sh-t!
dude your room looks like a gonzalez

you’re such a gonzalez! you have to remember your keys more often, what is this like the 56th time you have forgotten them?

man your shoes smell like a gonzalez

man that drunk hobo is walking like a gonzalez (but smells better than a gonzalez)

yo my 4 year old brother gets laid more than gonzalez
a latino “man” who constantly forgets everything, his keys, gl-sses, etc… according to tradition he must have his room and sink dirty and smelly at least 360 days of the year. in order to finish some of the excessive meals a gonzalez would eat he must evacuate his bowls midway through the meal to expand the capacity of his stomach. the gonzalez creature has been known to consume over 200 pounds of raw meat in a serving. you can tell you are dealing with a gonzalez by his distinct smell which originates mainly from the foot area. it has been attempted to eradicate this smell with ultra-strength deodorizers however all attempts have failed (see skunk). gonzalez’s have not evolved to the point where walking on 2 feet is comfortable, the gonzalez will frequently stumble or trip while attempting to move. a gonzalez is able to drink an entire bottle of tequila in one night and remain sensible; however depriving a gonzalez of even one hour of sleep can have detrimental affects to both coordination and mental capacity. a common belief of the gonzalez is that g-d = 2k+1.

a gonzalez is also handicaped when it comes to cooking meals. (re-heating would be a more appropriate term) frequently the gonzalez burns food while it is pre occupied with other things. this contributes to the dirty smell of his environment.
person: hey gonzalez do you have that pen i let you borrow?
gonzalez: uhhmmm…. -30 min later and an upside down room- i found it!

person: forget something?
gonzalez: my key!!

gonzalez: -knock- -knock-
person: gonz if that is you i am not openning the door, f-ck off.

gonzalez your shoes smell like sh-t!
dude your room looks like a gonzalez
gonzalez you have to remember your keys more often, what is this like the 56th time you have forgotten them?
man your shoes smell like a gonzalez
man that drunk hobo is walking like a gonzalez (but smells better than a gonzalez)
yo my 4 year old brother gets laid more than gonzalez