grand haven

a beach on the lake michigan sh-r-s of ottawa county, michigan. a highly overrated litter box that sees about a couple thousand mindless sheep per day during the summer months. mainly r-t-rded teenagers and college students; everyone goes there for the sole purpose of drinking till they wet themselves. packs of choch monsters comb the beach looking for the most clueless wh-r- they can attempt to gang rape. the sh-t soup water is mildly radioactive and makes a slap in the d-ck sound more appealing than getting in. fortunately, natural selection picks-off a few of the brain damaged neanderthals that jump off the pier each year.
bro one: “let’s go to grand haven today!”

bro two: “h-ll yeah, i could use some hepat-tis!”

clueless idiot: “man my d-ck has been itching ever since i went to grand haven.”

not a clueless idiot: “did you get in the water?”

clueless idiot: “yeah, why?”

not a clueless idiot: “you’re going to die.”

dumb tw-t: “i met this group of guys at the beach the other day and i’ve been talking to this one on the phone a lot and he wants me to hangout, but all his friends are going to be there too.”

dumb tw-t’s friend: “bring extra lube.”
1) a small beachtown located in the real oc, ottawa county. john mccain can be seen eating pr-nto pups here. anthony kiedis has been glimpsed at the kirby house.

2) a small west michigan city full of white, middle cl-ss, christian reformed people who often do nothing else than contract skin cancer at the beach.

3) quite possibly the site of the most mip’s ever handed out.
1) grand haven: we own it, you just visit.

2) someone from grand haven: “evolution is fake. jesus is my homeboy. everyone else who is alive is a f-ggot and deserves to burn in h-ll with satan.”

3) grand haven is building a huge–ss courthouse for all those wily teens.
where u find all the dumb vactioners that don’t know how to drive
look there is another vactioner going the wrong way on a one way street
(1.) the most beautiful town on earth. tourists swarm here in the summer to admire this place. (2.) the best place along the sh-r-s of lake michigan (3.) the number one place to watch a sunset.
(1.) “man, did you see that picture of all those tourists on the beach?”
“yeah, must be a pic of grand haven.”
(2.) “so i travelled to milwaukee last week. it was nothing compared to grand haven.”
(3.) i looked out and saw all of the colors of the rainbow on the sunset, and i remembered how great grand haven is.
where your known as either a loner or a popular kid. the only good part is jumpin java downtown dogs and rit.
you listen to hardcore bands? what are you a loner? thats grand haven for you
a beach town in west michigan full of a bunch of wanna be gangster p-ss-es that smoke pot to think they’re cool.
hey whats up man im white but im more gangster than anyone anywhere” “dude you live in grand haven, shut up f-g
a place where most white kids will act black, a term known as wigger.
look at that wigger, he must be from grand haven.