guidette

a female guido; characteristic for having an absurdely long italian name, breast implants, and tight clothing. prominent in new jersey.
marvin will do anything to hook up with a guidette.
(n): the female counterpart to the “guido” specimen. exclusive to north america, these creatures are usually of italian-american decsent. a guidette can be recognized by her orange color, similar to that of the common tangerine, and their either very light or very dark hair. guidettes have an overly s-xual demeanor, and will often emit high pitch shreiks to attract mates. a creature of habit, the guidette will spend an excessive amount of time on her appearance, and will usually prefer to don very light lipstick (often to referred to by experts as ‘s-m-n lipstick’), brands such as ed hardy, bebe and juicy couture. scientists believe they are very tolerant to chemical exposure, as guidettes will use 3-4 cannisters of hairspray in one day alone.

although reproduction has not been studied in this species, the guidette will usually have anywhere from 100 to 200 s-xual partners in her lifetime. however, some specimens were found to have exceeded these numbers by the age of thirty.

common health problems reported in the species include, but are not limited to, alcoholism, venarial diseases (most often strains of hepit-tis and herpes), sagging and wrinkled skin with a leathery texture and brain death.

(sources:

the u.s. wildlife and game adminstration
the u.s. center for disease control)
i think i will go to the zoo today, the guidette exhibit just opened.
a stupid wh-r- with bleached blond dyed hair with excess black roots, gel/ hairspray, highlights, and eyemake up. extra fake b–bs usually pop out of the “italian princess” shirt that was purchased 10 sized too small with an exposed long dangly silver belly b-tton ring that was most likely pierced at a grimey stand on the board walk. stretchy fake denim jeans in which the playboy g string will be exposed to accent the playboy bunny necklace that can be found around the neck.
you can find these specimens on mysp-ce whoring themselves, on a guido’s top eight, at any grimey club that plays dj insane, or at local malls usually socializing with other guidos and guidettes.
if spotted, feel free to hock a loogie.
katie: hey, did you see that guidette?
sam: yeah, i hocked a loogie at her.
jen: she was irish.
female counterpart to the guido, meaning vapid, vain, and shortsighted. located largely in the tri-state area or wherever there is a high density of italian families. can be spotted generally according to lack of clothing, and lack of breathability in said clothing. often speaks in a high, shrill voice—almost like a mating call to attract guidos. daily life consists of clubbing, tanning, shopping, perhaps exercise or work, and not a whole lot else.
if i spent the same amount of time studying as a guidette spends on her appearance, i could’ve gone to harvard.
a girl version of ‘guido.’ mainly found in new york lands or the jersey sh-r- areas. these girls are excessive tanners, usually jet black or dark hair. they have fake b–bs that don’t fit in their shirts. also, shirts are short at the stomach for tacky belly b-tton rings to be exposed. brands like ‘ed hardy’, ‘gucci’, and ‘juicy couture’ are of a guidette’s favorites. not only are these girls sk-nky, but they are incredibly annoying. with their new york/jersey (very italian-cavone accents) they don’t keep their mouths shut (and in that way, too).
“hey did you hear that?”
“oh yeah, that’s a guidette that can’t keep her mouth shut for a second!”