Gurpaul


i have heard stories of these figures, they usually sneak around like little ducks, fingerbanging horses and different types of livestock, fidgetting with their hair, sometimes they emerge and push people around randomly, from what i have learned this s-xually amuses them as their are recordings of the gurpaul family making s-xual noises in closets, while pushing eachother with the puerto rican hand pushing technique. usually they travel in packs of 2 or 3, all try to make fun of other people. sometimes these things try to yank their microp-n-s but can’t locate a specialized microscope so that they can see it in detail. their have been stories of these slimy creatures to shapeshift, and copy styles of those superior to them. usually found in the outer regions of mexican garbage dumps searching for food, and other fecal matter that they can perhaps ingest or fling at others walking by, the gurpaul has been known to try to bend their own d-cks all the way around so that they can f-ck themselves. these neglectful beings are of the lowest part of society, and try to be funny by saying everyday household things and twisting them around, like they do to their -sses so they can reproduce with all types of insects and slugs. the most frightening account of a gurpaul sighting happened in 1991 , when the most disguisting specimen of this genous was discovered, his mother blind from the pain of birthgiving named it gurpaul because gurp as noted in prestigious definitions means to f-ck up embar-ssingly, which she thought that she did, and the second syllable of them name is a tribal one given to all creatures of these horrendous figures walking the earth. if you ever see a gurpaul, stay away, as it will try to copy you, or rip off your d-ck and shove it up his own -ss, or possibly st-tch it onto their own head. gurpauls have also been known to swipe down with their finger of ultimate doom and destruction, which gives them +35% fingerbanging power, and also a +6 increase in speed.
ephram: wow what’s that horrifying creature that has a d-ck implanted on its head, must be some horrifyingly disfigured thing, for it to be even alive is amazing.
mordecai: shutup you stupid b-tch, thats just a gurpaul.

jesus christ, this gurpaul ripped off my d-ck

oh my god, he ran behind a gurpaul, d-mnit, another live lost to a fingerbanging menace.

mom: timmy be sure to close your window tight.
timmy: why?
mom: remember he kidnapped your brother and raped his corpse while fingerbanging himself and ate the remains
timmy: ok

person 1: holy jesus i was just strolling through the park when a gurpaul swung at me with his finger of ultimate doom
person 2: are you okay?
person 1: ya, good thing those beings are horribly r-t-rded.
a bad-ss fob indian ganksta n-gg-.gurpauls tend to live in brooklyn nyc. gurpauls usually suck their lil brown d-ck in all the acdemic courses at high school. gurpauls also like to go up to random men and look down there shorts. most gurpauls dont bath themselves instead spread salivia on them selves for reasons the human being cannot understand. a gurpaul has been described to have rat like features with sh-t sticking out of ther -ss. most gurpauls walk around rubbing ther nipples and starring at handicap men. gurpauls will w-nk it infront of you in akward positions to try geting ur attention.

handicapeww why that thing starring at me! agg
lady: omg its a gurpaul watch out theyll look down ur shorts.
a big pile of cr-p infested with beetles
look at that huge gurpaul

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