Gurting

guts + hurting = gurting.

caused by: greasy food, excessive boozing, pmsing, stress, chinese food, high fiber diets, lots and lots of apples, nervousness, improper use of -n-l beads, enemas, laxatives, too many fiber one bars, phenolphthalein, prunes and prune juice, food poisoning, long distance running, cholera, and any combination of said inducers

symptoms: stomach achy, crampy, g-ssy, guts rolling, uncomfortable, afraid to fart.

leads to: frequent bathroom trips, p-ss–ss, burning b-tthole and an all around sh-tty day.

caution: if you are expecting to gurt, do not wear thong underwear. i will only further the pain of the barking b-tthole. also, playing touch tag with your underwear is truly a dangerous game on gurt days.
david: oh man. i definately should not have drank that six pack, those blue bombers or that tequila shot. and my b-tthole keeps telling me the tabasco sauce on top of the chili cheese fries was a bad idea.

barb: sounds like you’re definately gurting.
when 2 or more bro’s get together too satisfy their go-gurt fetishes and fantasies.
i walked into mike’s bedroom the other day to find him gurting with his friend, it was obvious with them being naked and having go-gurt sprayed all over their faces.