hammock


a t-rd holding apparatus constructed from toilet paper spanning laterally from one side of the toilet bowl to the other. the paper is held in place underneath the weight of the toilet seat, and employs simple suspension bridge technology. the engineer sh-ts in the hammock, making toilet paper reinforcements depending on the consistency of the t-rd (i.e. moisture, viscosity, and density). when all the stalls in a given bathroom have been successfully hammocked, the facility is known to be in a state of “caribbean hangout.”
me – -dude, me and all my boys convened in the bathroom during free period and hammocked. unfortunately, jimmy never showed up and we were one short of a “carribbean hangout.”

friend – how selfish.
pr-nounced: ham-mick
-noun-

a cradle-shaped net or cloth suspended from two points, designed to hold someone in a different kind of relaxation posture. this free-swinging state is part of a complete summer day’s rest scene, along with a strawed, iced drink, a hat, and sunblock.
lastly, can be made to sound both relaxing and extreme by spelling it as “hammox.”

beware: never use a net hammock while fat. the holes will amplify your fat so it disgustingly squeezes through. as if that weren’t repulsive enough, you’re left with a cross-hatching design on your skin. -shudders-
i laid in the hammock. it was nice.
the bottom of a bathing suit that sits between a girls hips when she’s laying down (likely on a towel at the beach). girl must have a very flat lower stomach so that the bottom suspends like a hammock over her stomach – supported at the hips.

generally -ssociated with women that starve themselves, however optly achieved with a good diet, intense workouts, or good family jeans.
– dude, check out the hammock!

– she must be on that south beach diet!
adj. to be cool; to relax; to calm down
synonyms – chill
antonyms – to stress

common uses
1. describing a situation

2. describing a person

3. describing a place
1. mann, tonight? i just want to go out and be hammock.

2. that one chick we met last night that was down, she’s h-lla hammock.

3. everyone should visit italy, it’s a hammock kick it spot.
a beard that goes from sideburn to sideburn by p-ssing underneath the chin, thus creating a comfortable hammock for the face to rest on. any mustache, chin, or other facial hair not included in the hammock automatically disqualifies the beard as being a hammock.

not to be confused with the chinstrap, which has hair on the chin appearing as to grasp it like a chinstrap.
guy 1: “hey, that guy’s face looks comfortable”
guy 2: “it’s because of his hammock”
a large net for catching lazy people.

(per comedian jim gaffigan)
they might as well rename it (hammock) to a large net for catching lazy people.
the hairs in a male’s (hopefully not female’s)-sshole/crack that create a “hammock” like shape, home of the dingleberries
i just had a p–p 30 minutes ago and i couldn’t successfully wipe so now the dingleberries are caked and lodged in my hammock!

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