Hampden-Sydney College

“men who are going places start at hampden sydney”.
hsc is not for everybody. people who don’t go are turned off by the abundance of money, girls, guns, and alcohol. that person has since come out of the closet after realizing hsc is not for him. although it is easy to get in, it is hard to stay. boasting the toughest honor code that even vmi idolizes. hsc is the last vestige of the “southern-gentleman” and is epitomized through bow-ties, polos, and southern comfort bourbon. maxim magazine rates it the #1 school to get laid and they could not have been any more right. on the weekends this quaint little all boys school turns into an animal house style country club filled with guns, s-x, alcohol, and more alcohol. nearly becoming coed in the late 90’s the hampden sydney men came to their senses and realized that,”they don’t need girls they are doing just fine with yours.”
hsc man 1-“hey man we need some girls for the party”
hsc man 2-“no prob let me call up the uva, vt, randolph macon, sweet briar, longwood, and hollins girls. i’m sure they would be more than happy to come”
the college version of woodberry forest.
girl 1: who’s that gorgeous guy in the seersucker pants and a polo shirt over there?
girl 2: oh that’s (insert name). he went to woodberry and now he goes to hampden-sydney. he has a lot of hot friends too.
home of the future alcoholic, southern and communist virginia business sc-m bags of america. the persuasion to go to such an all male inst-tution is accredited to the likelihood of success after graduation. however, it is soon to be realized that the prestige and “honor” of connection to such an inst-tution is not to be noticed or accepted outside of the small virginia town. females are often transported to the small campus to drink free alcohol under the age of 21 with hopes of a large s-xual abuse settlement from their rich fathers of the justice system. however, your social standing, amount of trust fund and likelihood of donating after graduation is a essential element of acceptance. the greek life is very selective, meaning the acceptance of public hazing and humiliation is important. often males interact in hazing activities such as “elephant walks” and physical abuse to gain the approval of their elder “brothers” that they will despise after initiation. the annual “greek week” is an excuse to drink every night of the week with peers that eventually leads to dodging state troopers and abc agents that distrust the campus’s shotty department of law enforcement. the honor code is a strict element of the academic curriculum meaning professors often leave the cl-ssroom during test and quizzes to shake out a few lines with fellow faculty in the break room.
bill: lets go to hampden- sydney college for greek week

john: i’d rather beat my nuts with a rubber hammer.
the only way for a dumb-ss with money to go to school.
hsc student 1: “d-mn thats a really nice gym they just built.”
hsc student 2: “yeah my dad built that to get me in here since my gpa was a 1.5 and i only got an 800 on my sat’s. i can’t believe i mispelled my name.”
hsc student 1: “g-d i love being ignorant and having money.”
it is the home of the emotionally and mentally challenged. only rich, pompous, f-ggy f-cknuts attend because they are too stupid to be admitted into any other school that is inhabited solely by trust-fund c-nts such as harvard, princeton, and usc. the only real difference between hsc and the others listed is that the hsc population is entirely h-m-s-xual. seersucker pants, polo shirts with popped collars, and that hsc is an all male college are the greatest indicators to the incredible amount of pompous h-m-s-xuality of all who inhabit hsc. g-d hates hsc and every person that goes there needs to be beaten down with a rusty shovel being that it would be a favor to mankind.
example 1
hey, are you a pompous h-m-s-xual who wears seersucker pants and polo shirts with popped collars?

yeah

you are a huge f-g. you go to hampden sydney college don’t you?

why yes i do

example 2
hey, i beat off onto my cereal every morning.

do you go to hsc?

yes, yes i do