Hand of god

the hand of g-d occurs when one -j-c-l-t-s into their own hand and then immediately proceeds to open handedly slap a woman’s v-g-n- thus occurring in a pregnancy.
i gave her the hand of g-d and now we’re expecting our first child this december.
refers to a goal scored by diego maradona of argentina against england in the quarter-finals of the 1986 world cup. the first goal for argentina was scored off of his hand but wasn’t seen by the ref.
that was a hand of g-d goal!
similar to p-ss-the-parcel, the popular kids party game.

involves multiple women administering a hand job to one man. each woman takes it in turns (which are timed by whatever means deemed appropriate). the winner is the one to bring him to climax during their turn.

also known as “a d-mn good night”
example:

“you are not going to believe this. i got drunk with a few girls at my place last night, they only gave me the hand of god! rachel won in the end”
noun/latin orgin./ 1. instance of divine intervention; avatar of grace acting upon the earth in a manner only described as divine.

2. use of the digits to manipulate a womans genitals in such a manner that it brings about an event known as the female -rg-sm. name comes not from the divine like dexterity of the fingers but from the often heard outcry to g-d by the female subject.
1:”i would not have survived that bear attack if it had not been for the hand-of-g-d. a giant eagle swooped down and pecked out its eyes.”
2:”so last night i used the hand-of-g-d on your sister. she was screaming my fathers and hail marys so loud that i thought she might be trying to cast out a demon. i guess she was just filled with that divine touch, catholic girls are great!”
the hand of g-d goal was performed during a fifa world cup game, where argentinian striker diego maradona illegally used his hand to push the ball over the goal keeper and was awarded the goal, costing england the world cup that year.
diego is a b-st-rd
rescuing an incapacitated capsized kayaker by reaching underwater and rolling them upright. called the hand of g-d because you reach down from above and save them.
did you see that rescue? he just reached down like the hand of g-d and pulled her out of the water.
a game of gentlemanly rivalry. the two men stand facing each other bare-chested. one at a time, each man delivers a single, open-handed blow to his opponents’ abdominal area. only one step is allowed to be taken by the deliverer, and the recipient of the blow may not evade the blow and must sustain it fully. at the end of this, each gentleman will have a reddened imprint of his opponent’s hand emblazoned upon his abdominals- “the hand of god”. ten minutes (or some other predetermined time) are allowed to elapse, after which each man’s chest is re-examined. a group of impartial peers will decide which man has more fully recovered and shows the lesser amount of redness and injury- this man is declared the winner. in the event that the peers are unable to come to a unanimous decision (extremely rare), the two gentlemen shall again strike one another in the manner explained above, and again be judged until a winner is declared.
while abdominal fat may cushion the blow in a game ofhand of god, it is far more susceptible to lasting tell-tale redness which can lead to a loss. placing and timing of the blow is extremely important- proper placement can lead to the open fisted blow causing a gash that breaks the skin and draws blood- which will almost inevitably result in a win when compared to simple redness.

←