Happy Gazday

happy gazday is a day when nothing ever goes right and the “happy” part is used in irony.

you all know the kinda day i’m talking about ? the sort of day that starts off when you get out of bed, late, hungover and half sleeping then stagger barefoot to the toilet only to stand squarely in a pile of steaming dog sh-t that squelches up between your toes making you want to puke.
later, after cleaning the sh-t from between your toes and almost giving yourself a hernia puking, you go downstairs to make breakfast and, if there happens to be a milk carton in the fridge, you end up pouring a lump of stinking semi fermented cheese into your freshly made tea, coffee or cereal resulting in another gut ripping puking session !
the day continues when you go through a succession of miserable experiences and failures at work, school, college, etc. incorporating burns, scalds, b-mos and paper cuts and in an attempt to cheer yourself you decide to go to the bar to have a drink and are met by a smiling barmaid/barman holding your m-ssive bill from the night before.

it can also be sung to the tune of “happy birthday” when mocking someone who is having a particularly bad day.
si : “yo d-ck, how’s it hangin’ man”

d-ck : “gave myself a mimmack last night, had a nightmare about a santos, sh-t myself while i slept, no water when i woke up so had to go to work stinking of b.o. and sh-t and then everything got worse…topped it all off by having a wraithmell} in the bar”

si : “b-ll-cks dude, not another happy gazday” ??