hazleton

by far, the worst city in pennsylvania. overrun with hispanics and red necks, the most popular thing to do in this city is hang around the parking lot of blockbuster, with a rice-burner, and try to pick up pre-teen girls to take back behind the giant grocery store dumpter and f-ck. also world reknown for having dirty old priests who molest young boys.
“i’ve seen better scenery after taking a dump in my toilet than what this city has to offer. i swear, there was more stuff to do in nagasaki after the bomb hit than in this dilapidated f-ck-hole.”
a dilapidated city that should have become the centralia, pa of holocaust proportions, but unfortunately failed at sinking into the ground, or at least burning out enough toxins to be harmful enough for the mountain to be evacuated.

the most ghetto city in pennsylvania besides allentown or philly, the money that should be spent on fixing the roads instead goes to welfare and food stamps because the city is so poor that n-body’s job can even afford to pay them well enough to live comfortably.

it is overrun by rednecks, whites who never graduated high school, hispanics, most of whom cannot speak 2 words of english to save their lives, black people who are making more progress than the rest of the melting pot up here combined, slovaks and italians who complain about the influx of other cultures whilst hiding away in their roman catholic churches, b-ms, and a surprising population of s-xual deviants (i.e. the usual craigslist frequenters who cheat on every boyfriend or girlfriend they get).

most of the inhabitants of hazleton pretend their lives are okay while others hide in bars after their shift ends to drink, dance, and smoke away their misery. others just f-ck it away and then go to dollar tree in a mad rush to buy 5 pregnancy tests.

hazleton is the ugliest place you’ll ever see in your life, and i hope that you are not as cursed as i.

also, never live with your ex-boyfriend. especially not in hazleton.
1) hazleton is the worst city in pennsylvania.

2) “i sorry, i no speak englas.” – usual hispanic speech in hazleton….allentown at least is better with knowing english

3) “yo, i gotta get back to tha campus, i got cl-ss in da morning!” – educated african-american speech

4) “yo let’s go f-ck some b-tches at giant!” – teenagers in hazleton

5) “i’m so sick of the hispanics!” – ignorant hate-speech from most mcadoo dwellers who live 10 miles outside of hazleton

6) hazleton sucks. you’re better off in newark, nj.
a style of mutual masturbation, in which a woman hangs upside-down, while her male partner stands rightside up.
man: this hazleton, is the bomb. we got to do it more often.

woman: shut the f-ck up, and work my cl-t!
the center of the most fundamentalist roman catholic area in the us if not the world. town that sits in isolation in the pa coal region. populated by descendants of southern italian and slovak peasants who were taught by their priests never to think for themselves. their descendants in hazleton today have given up most of the pretty or interesting things about their ethnicity (throw fits when newcomer immigrants speak spanish), but managed to keep the deeper and more negative traits like: “never act on your own initiative” (because that may be willfulness which is a sin). to learn more about the cultural core of this town, look up the penn state/hazleton professor who writes papers on superst-tion and satanism in the area.
the hispanics might be the only hope to save this town in the foreseeable future.
“well of course the doctor can’t make a mistake! that’s ’cause he’s a doctor! can’t you listen? don’t you have any respect?” (typical hazleton att-tude and speech)