Hedgehog

a subspecies of saiyan found on earth. unlike the ones found on planet vegeta, these saiyans resemble a shrew with spikes on it’s back. they are extremely fast and will tell people that they’re too slow. they can go super saiyan when exposed to 7 chaos emeralds.
i have a pet hedgehog. his name is sonic. he ran away and told me i’m too slow.
although rarely used, it is also known as the tank barriers used by the germans in world war ii. these large, heavy, spikey barriers are mostly known for their use in normandy, france on d-day (june 6,1944)
he took cover behind the hedgehog as bullets pelted the sand around him.
martin freeman
“awww, look at that cute hedgehog”
v. to attempt (and/or to accomplish) self-felattio (also used as a gerund)
i came home early and saw my son and all his friends hedge hogging by the pool. they said, “it isn’t gay if you suck your own d-ck.”
a short, fat woman. resembling a hedgehog.
i cant stand my job, i cant stand my life, i hate f-cking that hedgehog of a wife.
a hedgehog is a small thing with pr-ckles on it.
david attenborough: as you can see, the wild hedgehog waddles from place to place. note its pr-ckles: sharp objects that act as a defence mechanism against whales.
a seductively elusive male, characterised by nocturnal habits and inconsistent contact. his s-xual habits are likely promiscuous, as these woodland critter men enjoy uninhibited roaming across many urban lady gardens.

in courtship, hedgehogs will ward off any overly emotional or overweight advances with sharp spikes of sarcasm and seething disinterest. however, after being drugged with appropriate p-ssy food, many have been known to enjoy a belly rub and may request their female perform domestic duties such as making a cup of tea.

when hedgehogs are found in an anti-social ball (characterised by a protrusion of spiny, venomous complaints from the mouth) an approach is not advised. however, if advancement is necessary; compliments, gentle head rubbing and haribo have been used as semi-successful distractions that may lesser the risks of being emotionally lanced.

despite their independent and pr-ckly natures, hedgehogs are often welcomed into many love life habitats, including: taxis, nesting beds, casinos and nightclub terraces. it has been suggested this is due to their wit and handsome, short legs. whilst hedgehogs dwell alone, they may be found to emit a distinctive whining noise via voicemail/text message when separated from a mate.

natural predators include strikingly beautiful, charming females, who find the hedgehog cute, so smoothing their natural defences with compliments and not too deep s-x.
‘did you see harriet’s face at the coffee shop today? it was contorted in pain, like it had been mercilessly attacked by the confusing behaviour of a love interest’

‘…she’s tried to hug the hedgehog again’.

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