Hell Week

usually found around midterms & finals. it’s a widely understood fact that prior to h-ll week, professors meet & discuss ways to purposefully create schedules with 3 midterms on the same day you’ve 2 papers & a group project due, all in addition to your normal homework load & extra-curricular activities.

in h-ll week, many students’ imaginations run wild in an attempt to rationalize ‘why this is happening to them.’ some will consider dropping out & going to work ‘full-time’ at the subway they currently work at. others (most, in fact) will go through 4 stages during h-ll week:

denial: you party the weekend before, procrasturbate instead of writing your paper & spend time pointlessly stalking everyone you never knew on facebook; you can always cram, right?

anger: you begin to look at what you need to study or write. how could they -ssign this much material? are they insane? this is inhumane-you should contact the aclu!

fear: it’s the night before your first tests, & you’re freaking out. you’ve no idea why there’re 1,052 ways to conjugate this word in that stupid–ss-language & you really don’t care what the h-ll a derivative is. what’re your parents going to say when you tank these tests? sh-t it’s 11:30pm & the f-ckin unstarted paper is due after those exams!

acceptance: in the final minutes leading up to the tests you finally realize all you can do is bend over your desk & let the subjects you despise so much violently violate you in the worst ways imaginable.
tyler: ugh, i have 3 midterms, 4 papers, and 3 group projects due this week.

karl: welcome to h-ll week
the inagural week of all greek organizations (fraternities) in which the new members (pledges) are rigorously abused and tortured as an endurance test. if the pledges make it through h-ll week, then they can become full-fledged fraternity members.

if none of this applies to you becuase you think that frats are stupid and infantile, please see gdi.
“i had to know all about the leader or else they would’ve killed me in h-ll week.”
the week of a theatrical performance during which the cast and crew practically live at school and communicate to thier families soley through notes.
sorry, i can’t interact socially, i have to stay at school until 10 today! it’s h-ll week for brighton beach memoirs.
the week before final examinations in college, thus named because it is the week that -everything- is due. (ie papers, presentations, things of that nature) and yet you must still find time to do other -ssignments and study for your exams.
i can’t go out tonight, it’s h-ll week and i have a paper due tomorrow.