Highway Hazard


1. a person that engages in dangerously distracting behavior while driving on the interstate, probably due to brain damage, insanity, or a criminal lack of common sense.

2. a jack-ss that talks on his cell phone while swerving through traffic at 80 mph.

3. a douche bag that you see on the interstate that is creeping into your lane because he’s looking down at a text message instead of at the road.

4. a bottom feeder driving down the highway at 5:00 in the morning with their cabin light on so that they can read the book propped up on their steering wheel.

5. a f-ckless t-rd that eats a full breakfast requiring both hands and/or utensils while pathetically trying not to endanger every single other person on the freeway.
i saw a total highway hazard on the way to work this morning. this b-tch was smoking with one hand and texting with the other; who the f-ck knows how she was steering. why do we let people like that breed again? that’s the kind of dumb-ss that only wears a seatbelt because the law says they have to.

my carpool buddy decided to look up amendments on his phone while driving yesterday. dude’s turning into a f-cking highway hazard.

so my friend texted me like 10 times while i was driving home from work last week. after i got home and actually checked the texts, i called him back and told him not to get his panties in a bunch. i sure as sh-t not going to be a highway hazard. f-ck that; i saw seven pounds.

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