Hipstellectual

1. one who makes pretentiously dismissive or authoritative statements regarding an academic field or work of art, which is totally obvious, irrelevant, or off-base, suggesting they have not read the book they’re discussing.

2. one who repeats bullsh-t osmosed from drinking pbr with pseudo-intellectuals.
bukowski is such a misogynist,” the cute hipstellectual girl smugly declared to the approbation of her mismatched ilk, who could care less what she had to say and mainly wanted to bang her.
not hip enough to be a hipster, not smart enough to be an intellectual, a true hipstellectual fancies himself both. typical traits include an obsession with the colbert report, writing terrible symbolist poetry while laughing at the slightly-more-bearable goth/emo writing scene at deviantart, starting a favorite list of books on a social networking site with al franken, describing one’s religious views on aforementioned social networking site as two obscure quatro-syllabic words pulled straight off of wikipedia, refusing to shop at any other store than hot topic and lambasting those who criticize him/her for it, wearing last year’s fashions, quoting in-jokes from last year, writing biased reviews of media the writer has no authority in, and a skin-and-bones physique caused by veganism, running from riot cops, or both.

a hipstellectual is the worst of both worlds, bringing both pseudo-intellectualism and hilariously-mismatching outfits to any clique he attempts to join. any attempt at conversation with these individuals quickly results in an argument about their favorite topics: politics, fashion, and veganism, in that order. people wishing to talk about something other than obama’s foreign policy and “war for oil” should probably venture elsewhere. despite claiming to be social b-tterflies of the highest caliber, hipstellectuals are often closet gamers who are too scared to be alone to play anything other than terrible, terrible mmorpgs.
hipstellectual: today i had to play single-player games because my pc was being fixed from all the malware i got from broken korean grindfests. it was horrible! i actually had things to think about like “plot”, “strategy”, and “characterization”!
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hipstellectual: the cake is a lie! haha, get it guys? wasn’t that game good? also, i’m on a boat!!!
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hipstellectual: yeah, actually my religious beliefs are ant-theistic humanism. you probably don’t know what that means. it’s cool, it just means i’m smarter than you, no big deal.
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hipstellectual: ron paul was totally supposed to win the 2008 election. i read it on the internet, so the election must have been fixed or something.
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hipstellectual: paying more for a pair of banged-up jeans than for a full three-piece suit is just a matter of taste. if you don’t, you have bad taste.