Huntington Beach
city with a history. has a famous pier that’s broken down 7-8 times due to harsh weather. if you’re a redneck don’t expect to be taken-kindly-to here. riversiders and tourists who junk up the beach will be verbally “thrashed” by surf lingo until their ears bleed. main street is the main hangout spot for the city and you can always find the hot beach babes down there monday through sunday. schools iclude all types of people; from punk to goth to emo to preppy to nerdy to gang-bangers and even normal people. teachers are usually all old and cranky except a few who are chill from the beach air. temperature is nice all year ’round with winter reaching 50’s sometimes and summer’s h-tting 100+. there’s anything and everything to do in hb and don’t refer to it as “the oc” or you will be shanked. if you like hot women, relaxed people, surfer dudes, night-life fun, and even suburbia come to huntington beach.
surf lingo:
gnarly-crazy or cool. ex: “that wave was gnarly!”
bra’-not refering to the female undergarment. a slurred version of “bro” as in “brother/brotha”. means close friend. white equivillant of “homie”. ex: “sha’, bra’ that was sweet.”
sha’-slurred version of “yeah”. ex: (see above example)
douche & jew-common disses or burns used in hb.
huntington beach is a city that was once defined by it’s long and rich surfing tradition. a foundation for championship surfing, inexplicably… a city now renowned for it’s crime-free streets, world cl-ss professional wiffleball leagues, and unrepentant police brutality. a city that pays police enough to afford quality athletic supplements, so they can efficiently police city streets that run amok with s-xless teenagers, and efficiently armbar drunks downtown. downtown does have it’s issues though.
a town that is genuinely beautiful and enjoys a consistent buzz and almost guilty popularity, rife with tough guys and far more wanna-be tough guys, most seemingly inspired by the coincidence of multiple hb locals partic-p-ting in ufc bouts. easy to get fights/plays in this town/area, if you’re into that kind of thing, though.
a city that somehow believes itself superior to outlying inner cities like santa ana & anaheim, and rich enough like southern orange county cities like newport & laguna, that many huntington residents exude an arrogance with no legitimate reason… much like that crazy b-tch you dated in college, huntington wants it both ways, and she wants it now.
a population full of insanely gorgeous women, bros, hos, pros, wealthy, a few super wealthy, a lot of broke that create the functional support arm of the local rich, a lot of really cool people, some raging d-ckwads, a couple n-z-s that are vocal but get b-tch-slapped often, rastafari that don’t know who haile sel-ssie is, strippers, athlete summer homes, second homes, angry juiced cops, typical drug traffickers, and sand.
these two girls stole their parents credit cards, stole one of their family cars, and ran away from home to huntington beach to meet up with a guy named charlie. they’d casually met at a hotel bar during a business trip a year earlier in memphis. he told some stories of his home town on the water, and never thought he’d see them again. they thought huntington beach was like beverly hills by the ocean. i mean, h.b., b.h…. it’s soooo obvious!
they’d never seen the ocean before… when they tasted the sea air and saw the pier, they broke for the water and dove in totally clothed… danced around like idiots forever, but it was beautiful, at first. they realized they might need to change so we went home. they thought doing some acid would be a good idea, since they’d never done it before, and n-body would stop them due to the hilarity that would surely ensue… after all, they were in, like.. hollywood & la!! we made it to huntington beach!!! let’s get high!! omg yessss!!!!
90 minutes later they’re smearing cherry lip-gloss in each others hair because it ‘f-cking rocks’, running away when someone tries to stop them from stabbing themselves & eachother with greasy cherry flavored pencils, inserting bic lighters into their v-g-n-s (finally), only to run away to the corner of florida & yorktown, just to squat and simultaneously p-ss in the street together while giggling hysterically. oh, there was this guy that looked like the comedian steven wright that took some doses too, but he was just from cerritos or something and wasn’t with them, and it was his first time too, and kept asking why everyone calls this place “hb”… because it’s a f-cking acronym you cause for abortion… anyhoo… he started talking like a goat, and was like, ‘i’m in h-beeee-ee-ee-ee bra-a-a-a-a-a… a-a-a-n-d i’m on a-a-c-i-i-d b-r-a-a-a!!11!11’. pretty good doses, but i wouldn’t suggest taking them was a good idea, in hindsight. the chicks came down okay and were just slightly humiliated later, though goat-boy never was the same i heard. he didn’t keep talking like a goat forever, just severely impaired his reasoning skills. moral of story: don’t do acid in huntington beach with girls from tennessee!! it will make you permafried!
where most of the population from the surrounding communities/cities wished they lived. however, there are parts you would not be caught dead in such as the charter center barrio.
i live in orange county.
oh, yeah, what part?
huntington beach
bullsh-t, you live in westminster, garden grove, anaheim, fountain valley, santa ana, costa mesa, etc.
city in southern california.
some areas are wealthy, but most are middle-cl-ss
we aren’t the typical “surfer” stereotypes. that’s demeaning and insulting.
not everyone surfs.
i didn’t realize this until i met someone who was from a ghetto neighborhood in texas: we’re used to nice clothes.
and the schools aren’t as clique-y as one might think
huntington beach.
short definition to save you some time: home of spoiled rich white kids that think they are tough as nails, but don’t know sh-t about life outside of “the orange curtain” aka orange county.
“omgz lets head down to huntington beach to check out the x games bro!!!”
Read Also:
- FLOBOTS
an amazing indie hip-hop/rap group that has deep and meaningful lyrics and a diverse and catchy beat to set their songs. they don’t go on about killing people in the hood, how hard their life has been, how many hoes they have, or about making money. they rap about real issues. d-mn! that flobots group […]
- Steven Colbert
possibly the most intelligent man gracing the television today, steven colbert has a large audience of disgruntled, politically aware 13-30 year olds who tend to become fanatical when they finally become an audience member of colbert’s live-filmed talk show. colbert’s tongue-in-cheek approach to comedy is highly effective, in part due to the outrageous character he […]
- Bazooked
to be completely f-ked up beyond belief as if you were just hit by a bazooka n-gg- that party was sick last night i got f-ckin bazooked! what one says after being killed by an rpg-7, or after killing someone with an rpg-7 tim: i just bazooked your -ss charles: sh-t man, you did, you […]
- jadeburns
the style of sideburns worn by jade puget, incredible guitarist for afi (a fire inside). “jadeburns and a pink tie completes the package.” a unique type of sideburns made popular by afi guitarist jade puget. tina’s boyfriend is trying to grow jade burns.
- Cee-lo
it’s a dice game that i play. you roll three dice until you get a number. a “number” is when you roll a dice and get two dice the same and one dice another number. say you roll and get 2 2 3…three is your number. you roll until you get something. if you roll […]