I have a cat in my lap
the last excuse for not doing something without admitting to laziness. often used by cat owners and drunks/meth wh-r-s
mom: timothy, take out the trash!
tim: i will.
mom: no, now!
tim: i’m busy.
mom: bullsh-t!
tim: but, i have a cat in my lap!
bill: ted, can you hand me a beer.
ted: go gret it yershelf….
bill: dude, it’s right there.
ted: …..mrai have a crat in m’lap…..
bill: there’s nothing there…where are your pants? …you have sh-t on your d-ck.
Read Also:
- Barbary Macaque
the barbary macaque is a figment of megan’s imagination, most likely created during a wild acid trip during the summer of 2011. it does not exist, nor is it found anywhere in the country of spain. “only someone with scrambled eggs for a brain would think the barbary macaque is real!”
- miami heat jersey
a sports jersey that the miami-dade county players wear and in the hood a bullet proof vest. since heat also stands for a gun. bob: i shot jim but he dident die. jack: oh, jim? he wears a miami heat jersey he bullet proof, take head shots
- bureaucrete
the most dense material in the known universe the project is 9 months behind schedule because it has become mired in bureaucrete.
- johny stick
a stick that has a used condom on its end. it is usually used to chase your friends around the yard. dude!!!!!! stop touching me with that johny stick.
- philematology
the science of kissing he studies philematology at parties with a group of girls