Iowa

not the best state in the country, but very far from the worst. home to three million people, some really sweet cities, three great univerties, a whole bunch of stellar small private colleges and a ton of true natural beauty in its lush northeast bluff country and statewide river valleys, lakes, and yes, rolling fields. iowa is a national leader in education (students in many other states including texas take the iowa test of basic skills, and everyone’s heard of the act, based in iowa city) and is leading the way in biofuels to reduce the nation’s dependence on oil. to dispel the ignorance displayed elsewhere on this post, here’s a state breakdown of cities and topography. if seventy synonyms for b–bs is alright to post, so is this.

central iowa: des moines, located at the intersection of i-80 and i-35, is the largest city with a metro of a half million and is the state capital, second only to london for the t-tle of insurance capital of the world. ames (80,000 metro) is about a half hour north of des moines and is home to iowa state university, a land grant school of 30,000 respected around the world for its engineering and agricultural programs. central iowa is, outside of river vallies, very flat, and outside of the des moines area and ames is very sp-rs-ly populated.

eastern iowa: the most densely populated area of the state. ethnically diverse iowa city (115,000 metro) was iowa’s first state capital, was the first city in the world to elect a female mayor, has been named the most cultured city per capita in the nation, is always in the top five cities in the country for education, and is home to the university of iowa, 30,000, nationally renowned for its carver college of medicine and iowa hawkeye athletics. the music departments of iowa city’s two large public high schools have won a total of five grammy awards. cedar rapids, (200,000 metro) just twenty minutes north of iowa city in the beautiful cedar river valley, is the second largest single city, is the economic hub of eastern iowa, has two private colleges, and is best known for being the place you get any of your quaker oats brand ceral from. waterloo/cedar falls, two conjoined cities (130,000 metro) is where the unviersity of northern iowa, 18,000, is located. the quad cities, (375,000 metro) two in iowa and two in illinois, straddle the mississippi and form the largest metro between des moines and chicago. the largest of the four cities is davenport, ia, home to the bix 7 foot race whose hilly course and large prize attract runners from every part of the globe. dubuque, (90,000 metro) on the mississippi where iowa meets illinois and wisconsin, is iowa’s oldest city. it is home to a ton of beautiful architecture, four private colleges, a far-reaching elca lutheran seminary, and the smithsonion affiliated national mississippi river musem and aquarium. eastern iowa’s topography is for the most part very rolling farmland, with the exception of the hillier iowa river valley, cedar river valley, and the bluffs and hills skirting the whole eastern border along the mississippi. the northeast corner of the state is all bluffland, home to small town decorah and reputed luther college.

western iowa: the vast majority of iowa west of i-35 is flat farmland with the exception of the very westernmost strip. sioux city on the missouri river (the western border) is a good sized city with nice amenities and lots of historyt. council bluffs is the largest suburb of omaha, just across the river in nebraska. the iowa great lakes region contains many large lakes, most notably lake okoboji, one of only three blue water lakes in the world. the loess hills state park runs along the whole westernmost strip of the state, and offers lots of hilly hiking and some of the state’s largest forests.

iowa’s motto should be “iowa: not as bad as you picture it.”
person one: you’re moving to iowa? d-mn.
person two: nah, it’s actually pretty sweet.
pretty much the sh-t. make sure you’re clear on the fact that the word “the” is in there, or else you’ll get the meaning all wrong. iowa is home to the three million nicest people in the united states, probably in the world. a leader in education, and home to some of the most beautiful scenery into the world. it’s a traquil beauty, and if you’re into that, you’ll love iowa. and if you’re not into that, you can go take california or wherever you’re from and f-ck it.
person from iowa: i love iowa. everyone there is so nice and there aren’t obnoxiously long lines or large crowds.
person from new jersey: well, we have the largest strip mall in the world.
person from iowa: oh. i’m sorry.
person from new jersey: i really wish i was from iowa
person from one of the other 48 states: me too.
a farming state that isnt a bunch of dumb farmers thats montana
iowa is much better than montana, montana sucks
a state that quietly grows corn and takes care of its own affairs. residents think des moines compares to new york.
iowa…corn capital and fun times of the world
people who dont live in iowa refer to iowa is full of corn and farmers. its full of things pretty much from other states. 3 million awesome people live there. and its probably 3 million people you would never forget because they are so nice. iowa is also one of the most beautiful places to live and only cool people can live in iowa. because iowa is the sh-tt. also home to the best college football team the iowa hawkeyes!
i love people from iowa. they are always nice and awesome.
the greatest state in the union with education, and the ability to function with agriculture and good morals,when western civilization comes crashing down around you other 49 inferior states (illinois is ok).
man 1#: im tired of f-ck-offs making fun of iowa why don’t we just secede and laugh our -sses off while those h-m–erotic californians starve to death.

man2# yeah i can’t wait!
best state in the entire united states of america!

most, c-cky dumb-sses hate on iowa, and say that all there is is corn.. thats completley wrong! every state has agriculture and just about every state grows corn and has corn fields.
so what if iowa has corn, that dosnt mean thats the only thing to do!

iowa is the best! our hot chicks and all of our sports teams..

iowa will f-ck up anyone who tries to talk sh-t on us! were no p-ssys, we will fight any mother f-cker who tries to hate on us!

iowa has the best state fair too! the iowa state fair is possibly the best state fair in all of the us.

we have everything, demo derbys, mudding, so much sh-t, youd just have to come here and check it out!
loser: har har har, you’re from iowa, go eat some corn
iowa representer: shut the f-ck up -punches loser in the nost and makes him bleed and cry like the little b-tch he is-

iowa owns you