Irish Inch

alliterative & hence popular slang term for a tiny fair p-n-s, measuring around an inch erect or flaccid. based on the small size of the celtic p-n-s in particular, & of the british p-n-s in general: “irish inch. sl lancia in resta. the erect p-n-s, us 1970s-80s. a slur on irish p-n-s size. (green 1998, 642). ‘i wanna find what they eat to make their t-ts grow so i can feed it to my wife.’ ‘they eat the irish inch.'(h gould, fort apache 1980, 33).” (‘lessico erotico inglese-italiano’ subt-tle: la reggia dell’amore. antonio d’eugenio. bari: levante, 2002-4, v 1 of 2, p 181) the prevalent stereotype of the microphallic & foolish celt is a play on the global under-endowed idiot or the shakespearean ‘three-inch fool’.

according to widespread folk & urban legends, british microphallism is a result of a traditional eugenical practise of norman kings & barons to forbid marriage to british males who measured larger than an ‘irish inch’. it is said that the aim was to breed an obedient race of under endowed red-haired celtic & flaxen-haired anglo-saxon serfs & that thus originated the ‘curse of the irish inch’. hence the indigenous hatred of the ‘norman yoke’.

however, this practise would only have exacerbated the evolutionary contraction of heat-losing external body parts (per allen’s rule) already prevalent in the damp-cold climate of the british uplands section of the british insular biogeographic province in the palaearctic euro siberian ecoregion.
1) ‘”ok,” said dean, licking his lips like a predator going in for the kill, “so, you had it off with a girl you’ve never met before, by being a member of a group of letter writers that doesn’t exist, at a school you’ve never been to & managed to drive your irish inch for hours?”‘
“er.” said seamus … “yeah.”‘ (‘pieces of a hogwarts pie’ mharvey 09-19-02 fanfiction.net)

2) “the farrellys’ endless fascination for novel varieties of human types makes for some lively sight gags … d-ck-joke cutaways between long dong silver & ‘irish inch’ stereotypes.” (‘one from the shart: hall p-ss’ nick pinkerton. houston press 24 feb – 2 mar 2011, p.27)

3) “showing the p-n-s stereotype of the huge black man and the irish inch—check” ‘hall p-ss —a movie review’ martin d. goodkin, feb 25, 2011 my.greasy.com/greatmartin/hall_p-ss—a_movie_review.html

4) “yes, in tokyo, i paraded my giant schl-ng in the public bath to intimidate the j-panese men with their small endowments. in dublin, i hauled out my humongous d-ck at every urinal so those afflicted with the ‘irish inch’ could get a good jealous peek.” jeremy, “a man around forty”, the divine sister {drama} scene 5, p.35, samuel french, 7/4/10, speakeasystage.com.

5) seamus: i talked me wifey into sucking me irish inch by tellin’ her it’d help her lose weight!

6) mae: me hubby calls his d-ck his ‘irish inch’ & blames its small size on his irish descent – he claims it is common – lol. (babycenter, 1 mar 2011)