Isaac Newton
father of science, king of pwn. was integral (get it) in the development of calculus and by extension much of modern mathematics and physics. formulated laws of motion, an understanding of gravity and also noted some interesting stuff about light. went to trinity college cambridge and possed a still largely mysterious power over apples. the unit of force is also named after him.
hey an apple just fell on my head, d-mn that newton!!
if isaac newton touches a body of m-ss 1 kg it will begin to move with an acceleration of 1 metre per second squared.
newton was strolling down the beach and found a pebble; on it was written “f = ma”.
the deadliest son-of-a-b-tch in sp-ce.
an item in motion stays in motion unless acted on by an outside force. as you may already know, outer sp-ce is empty. when you fire a slug from an everest-cl-ss dreadnought, it accelerates to 3% to 3.3% of the speed of light and impacts with more force than the city-buster dropped on hiroshima. that slug will not stop until it hits something – be it the ship you’re supposed to be aiming at, an asteroid, or a planet on the other side of the galaxy. you are ruining someone’s day somewhere at some point in time. for this reason, isaac newton is the deadliest son-of-a-b-tch in sp-ce!
so you’re f-cking a girl in an apple orchard and she’s got her back up against a tree. then you really start taking down to pound town, so much so that apples fall from the tree and hit her on the head.
dude, i went apple picking with my girlfriend’s family, but she and i went off on our own. long story short, i ended up giving her an isaac newton.
christian scientist who created calculus and “discovered” gravity. atheists, conveniently like to ignore that he was a devout religious person who called atheism “senseless and odious to mankind”.
“opposition to godliness is atheism in profession and idolatry in practice. atheism is so senseless and odious to mankind that it never had many professors.” ~ isaac newton on how atheists still practice worship (many atheists today worship celebrities or money in place of g-d) and how it lacks professors (which is still the case today as atheism is still the minority).
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