ISLAS SYNDROME
unusual social disorder that plagues mostly damaged, h-m-s-xual males. in it, the affected individual falls madly in-love with his victim on the first date; spending much of the night looking starry-eyed into his face like a wounded puppy. sappy texts follow the date such as “you’re amazing” and “i had the best night ever!”. the affected individual is clear in his intention that he’s completely “ready” for a relationship and not a game player like the others. he begins using futuristic descriptors such as “when you’re my boyfriend” and “when you start staying the night” and corny phraseology such as “i need to see you again for my own selfish purposes”. this type of unusual activity lasts anywhere from 24 to 72 hours but usually not more then three days. during this period one or two additional dates may follow but interest for the victim wanes dramatically. the drop-off usually occurs when his victim displays such unsavory traits such as an unfiled fingernail or an eyebrow hair that has gone awry. perhaps the victim makes mention that he refrains from eating steak or the horrifying revelation that he is simply a regular, nice guy and not some mythical “night in shining armor” figure the affected individual has fabricated in his own mind. ultimately, the victim is simply blown-off by the affected individual within the three-day period never to be heard from again. some victims (who buy into this behavior in any degree) are left with a sense of confusion, hurt, and anger.
“hey jack, how are things going with that guy you’re dating”?
-“oh man, the guy was a total freak. i really thought he was into me with all those lovey-dovey texts but he just blew me off after our second date. i have no idea what happened…he just did this 180 on me for no reason at all.
“dang..i’m really sorry jack. sounds like a textbook case of that gay social disorder i read about. islas syndrome, right?”
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