ivf
in vitro fertilisation.
in vitro is latin for ‘in gl-ss’.
this is a medical process whereby couples having trouble concieving will go recieve help, and concieve without actual intercourse. the male j-zzes into a bunch of plastic cups, before the healthy and fast-moving sperm are collected together and crammed in a test tube with ovary produce of the female. after a week or so the female is told to lie on her back before a phallic-shaped tube is rammed deep inside her hole and she recieves some j-zz with healthy sperm. this greatly increases chances of fertilisation, but still only 30% of couples concieve. the first “test tube baby” was born louise brown in 1978 in the united kingdom.
the word is sometimes used as an insult
your parents had ivf to get you, because your dad has one ball!
in vitro fertilisation
most people are under the misconception that ivf starts with harvesting eggs from the woman and sperm from the man. it actually starts weeks before that with the woman having to administer daily hormone injections. first these hormones induce a temporary menopause then further injections stimulate the ovaries to develop a number of follicles. this whole process is carefully monitored as serious complications can occur.
only once the follicles are ready are the eggs ripened and then collected in a surgical procedure under sedation or anaesthetic. sperm is collected at this time and with some luck eggs fertilise and embryos start to develop.
after a couple of days (or five if going to blastocyst stage) usually either one or two embryos are placed into the uterus and the couple must wait two weeks to find out if they are pregnant.
ivf is a harrowing treatment which many patients describe as an emotional rollercoaster but many infertility patients are more than willing to put themselves through this (often on numerous occasions) in the hope to have a family.
raise awareness of infertility!
ivf offers hope and has allowed many people to have a family who otherwise would have never know the joy of having a child of their own.
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