Jam Hands

1.a medical condition striking children that causes there hands to attract sticky substances and then deposit on just about everything.
2. the actual hands covered in the sticky substance
that b-st-rd little kid got his d-mn jam hands on my cd.
a condition where your hands become really sticky, as if someone smeared jam on them like your hands were a piece of toast, and you need to get germ-x to get rid of it
kelly(searching through her stuff)- where’s my germ-x?! my jam hands are so bad right now!
jam hands (aka: j h) can be defined as one who cannot avoid keeping their hands free of the most undesirable sticky messes one could possibly acc-mulate on their hands. some examples of this are: jam, chocolate … anything food related really, also many unmentionables such as their own expectorant. sometimes they can go days without knowing this and actually am-ss more of a jam hands situation which can spread to other body parts, clothing (pudding shirt) and namely on top of their already jammy hands: this is known as jam hands h–rding.

however, jam hands are known for their sharing. they like to mark their territory and think this is amazing, a gesture of unity. however, it is disgusting. once you have observed a jam hands you will be quick to notice smears or other texturized traces that the jam hands leaves behind. you will learn the definition of repulsed.

friends or observant people who are well aware of when a jam hands is in the room, tend to keep a 30 feet minimum distance from the jam hands at large and are quick to use public/personal hand sanitizer if available when an accidental/forced encounter with the jam hands or a certain surface that the jam hands has touched, has occurred.
“daniel, keep your filthy jam hands away from me… oh gross it’s in your hair now!”

example: the kid from your third grade cl-ss, that smelt musky, who wore the same shirt every day for 2 weeks, that had 20 different types of chocolate stains on it, and would eat popsicles and the popsicle would melt onto his hands and then fabric fuzz would get stuck to the popsicle mess on his hands, and then he’d have yesterdays gravy on his face and it would be french kiss friday and people would dare you to kiss him and you would slightly vomit at the thought of it in your mouth, and the teacher would dump his desk on clean up monday and grilled cheese sandwiches from 2 months ago would fall out. jam hands + jam hands h–rding.
often the nickname for a best friend that teaches you how to properly give a handjob
thank you jam hands, your lesson came in handy.