Jambot

jambot can speak french in russian and once had an awkward situation just to see how it feels.
if he disagrees with you, it is because you’re wrong.
he has never lost a sock.
he has been known to cure narcolepsy, just by walking into the room.
his organ donation card, also lists his d-ck.
his shirts never wrinkle.
he is left-handed. and right-handed.
even if he forgets to put postage on his mail, it gets there.
the police often question him, just because they find him interesting.
he once punched a magician.
if a monument was built in his honor, mt. rushmore would close, due to poor attendance.
his d-ck alone has experienced more than a lesser man’s entire body.
his blood smells like cologne.
on every continent in the world, there is a sandwich named after him.
he doesn’t believe in using oven mitts, nor potholders.
his cereal never gets soggy. it sits there, staying crispy, just for him.
respected archaeologists fight over his discarded apple cores.
even his enemies list him as their emergency contact.
if he were to give you directions, you would arrive 10 minutes early.
he never says anything tastes like chicken, even chicken.
he was once found guilty, of being innocent.
he once taught his german shepard how to bark in spanish.
he actually struck gold picking his nose.
holy sh-t, he looks like jambot. we should run.

i heard kimbo won the fight, but jambot knocked him out in the parking lot after.

yea man, he pulled a jambot and kicked both their -sses.
what something becomes when for a time, it’s what life is all about.

when something becomes what life is all about permenantly, jambot is often preceeded by the word “quintessencial”, or followed by the word “supreme”.
check out these camo chuckers, they’re the jambot!

the man, the myth, the legend… the jambot.

man, zombie defense is the quintessencial jambot.

this ak47 is the jambot supreme.