Japildo
a male d-ld- used primarily on the j-peye (visible part of the male urethra) and enjoyed by 87% of the male population (cosmo poll: march 2007 j-pildo craze sweeps nation). a j-pildo can be described as a thin streamlined object to be used for the purpose of ecstactic pleasuring of the inside of the p-n-s by a rapid relentless thrusting motion to achieve ultimate s-xual climax without your girlfriend ever needing to know! 😉
the history of the j-pildo goes back to the rule of henry viii. frustration at the lack of a male heir to carry on the dynasty left henry disappointed and aroused so he sent envoys to the court of king francis i of france. a committee was to decide the fate of henry’s m-ssive throbbing erection. the decision was final, a new instrument was to be invented, the holy right honourable j-pildo ordained on papal order by pope clement vii. this s-xual revolution solved the deep malaise infecting henry’s heart and mind instead of beheading his wives the king would spend many joyous days furiously thrusting his holy j-pildo deep into his defiant throb-on and the kingdom of england went through a golden age of prosperity and economic development. the j-pildo has been lost to the world due to the ravages of time and the s-xual desires of history’s greatest leaders. it was last seen pleasuring the j-peye of akbar the great emperor of the mughal court of hindustan but has since vanished.
chuck: hey chad do you think i can get this barbed wire all the way down my j-p’s eye??
chad: like totally dude i’ve seen my dad do it with my moms d-ld- it looks freaking awesome!
mohinder: thats a sick idea! lets give corey a ring and propose a lads night in j-pildo style!!!
a kitten used a mitten as a j-pildo on a cold bl-stery winters day.
brad: hey you heard that carl thomas peters jackson broke up with his girlfriend and now he spends all day violently cranking and using his brand new throbbing golden j-pildo?
jesse: freaking awesome dude!
got women troubles? tired of their whining and incessant nagging? well look no further we have the answer for you! the j-pildo 3000 comes as standard with 27 settings, adjustable 1-24 inch shaft, expanding girth to fit all your lonesome s-xual needs, intense vibration, thrusting capacity with speeds upto 700mph. no need to buy them breakfast just batteries!
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