Jared Allen
1. the craziest mother f-cker in the nfl. usually clad in purple and white, he uses his mullet’s intimidation factor to make offensive linemen bow at his feet. when he’s not playing football, he’s usually found hunting elk with a spear and kicking chuck norris’s -ss.
2. a person who also has a mullet, wears purple, and strikes fear into the heart of all he encounters (especially elk).
1. “did you see the game yesterday?” “yea, jared allen drank the qb’s blood after it was over.”
2. “that guy’s mullet is huge!” “don’t f-ck with him, he’s a jared allen.”
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