jergens

generic term for hand lotions used in m-st-rb-t–n, especially lotions in a pump top dispenser.
not for internal use.
“somethings up. i keep finding the jergens stashed behind the toilet.” (reference to teenage brother.)
“he’s married. he buys jergens by the gallon at costco.”
vasaline/skin lotion. normal used when home alone.
yo dan p-ss me some jergen.
a brand of lotion made by kao brands.
use of jergens lotion will prevent one’s skin from appearing ashy.
lotion most commonly used for masterbating. you know you’re a thirteen-year-old loser when you have a desk drawer filled with a bottle of jergens and a box of tissues, on said desk is a computer with favorited links to free p-rn sites, and beside said desk is a trash bin that you emptied three days ago but is already half filled with messy crumpled up tissues and suffocating sperm cells.
guy 1 : max is a loser. just take a look at his desk.

guy 2 : ew! is that white stuff a spot of jergens he spilled, or…?

guy 1 : the world will never know.
a man who jerks on tingtings and does it for a living! he usually does it while on the jon, in the office, in the cl-ss room, under a christmas tree, in the kitchen cooking, while playing with cows, while eating a turkey sandwich, while dancing in the rain nude, while reading the urban dictionary, while walking in the mall and while talking to his mother. a jergen gets paid atleast $40-$50 an hour! but only works 1 day a week!
persona 1: the cow in your bas-m-nt?
persona 2: was yellow with envey
persona 3: i ate a taco!
persona 4: weeeeeeeeeeee!
persona 5: im a jergens!