jonking

to m-st-rb-t- backwards with the wrong hand. for example, if you normally use your right hand to m-st-rb-t- in the normal manner with your thumb towards the head of your p-n-s and your palm facing you, when you jonk or are jonking you would use your left hand with your thumb towards your b-lls and the back of your hand facing you.
can you believe russ is jonking off to animal p-rn again?
to jonk. posing for a photograph while presenting an intoxicated, unconscious person with great enthusiasm and fanfare. good form and proper etiquette dictate that while the intoxicated party need not be known to the jonker, the jonkee should not be homeless or injured.

not unlike planking, the practice is meant as a good-natured meme.
there were so many p-ssed out tourists at oktoberfest, i took pleasure in jonking all of them!
another word for the word ‘joking’
if you get bored of just using the word ‘joking’, use jonking instead. it’s funner and it makes people laugh.
“eww your shoelaces are hideous”
“what”
“only jonking, i love them”
a delusional verve brought on by the realization of one’s awesomeness
i am jonking, you are not that neato
verb, to jonk. effectively means to m-st-rb-t- while engaged in the act of defecation.
it’s roots are the scottish colloquial terms ‘jobby’ (defecate) and ‘w-nk’ (m-st-rb-t-).
“johnny’s off to the toilet for a jonk… make sure he’s locked the door”