KartPhonics II

continued from kartphonics

1. mario – first son; a brother
2. luigi – the -sshole; a brother
3. peach – wh-r-
4. toad – the dealer; shroom-man
7. wario – the g-dfather; the daddy
8. bowser – daddy’s pet b-tch
murder inc – collectively speaking, wario, mario and luigi
mob hit – any strike against a human kart player by mario, luigi or wario

1. single green sh-ll – na
2. 3 green sh-lls – a gauntlet. the item that one can be most creative with
3. single red sh-ll – seeker
4. 3 red sh-lls(if your player is ready to take a beating) – red death; red f-ck
5. single banana – facial
6. banana strand – golden shower
7. fake present – bomb
8. blue sh-ll – #1; major f-ck
9. single mushroom – f-cking worthless
10. unlimited mushroom – a bad trip; drunk driving
11. lightning – when used strategically on certain courses, the ultimate f-ck

road load – on toad’s turnpike, hitting a banana and sliding into a moving vehicle. not as bad as a sweet load, but just as fun to watch since a chain reaction of car crash f-ck-ups can, and often do, follow.
snow load – on frappe snowland, hitting a banana and sliding into a snowman.
bl–dy facial – yes, this one is a stretch. this occurs when 2 characters are in a virtual tie during the race, and one fires a seeker. the seeker advances forward, then backward into the face of the other kart player. very satisfying to watch your adversary take a bl–dy facial
jim: i’m going to hand you your -ss today in kart. loser buys a pack of smokes and the next case.
brian: i’ll set up a road load on the first lap. hooked on kartphonics ii b-tch!