Kenneth Scullion

a predominately hairless creature whose diet consists of next cigarettes, james ready beer, pawt and pulled pork sanguichoes; he also loves cats, he loves every type of cat…. and he likes to run. the average ken can be found knee deep in his own filth whilst avoiding all -ssigned readings. his mating call consist of the seven digit phone number for little cesar’s pizzeria coupled with a vibrant blue, flamed, b-tton up shirt.

things kenneth likes… use caution when offering these to kenneth:
1.) darts
2.) beahs, couldn’t hurt if it were a jr.
3.) paaawt
4.) pork which has been pulled ever so slightly
5.) greeheeheesee zah, preferably little c c’s
6.) man on manery, not to be confused with pawtery
7.) the hunger games, books not the movie
8.) fusion frenzy… only the demo
9.) cat videos…. g rated strictly
10.) rocky iv
11.) this definition

things that anger kenneth… avoid these things:
1.) clean shoes/clothes/rooms
2.) asking to borrow one of his next brand cigarettes
3.) lack of man on man action (only on weekdays)
4.) shwacks
5.) running low on beer/alcohol products

6.) children
7.) kraft dinner without tuna
8.) tuna without kraft dinner
9.) the inside of boxes, organic or not
10.) empty beer cans without cigarette buts all up in there
11.) this definition
“you wanna grab some lil cesar’s there bud?”
-“sure as my name is kenneth scullion… don’t forget the sh-tty crazy bread”

a girl says, “oh a was just calling little cesar’s too, aand i love your sweet vibrant blue flamed shirt”.
kenneth scullion says, “yay, thats right”

“yo man, you can’t just be walking in this house with a case of jr, small pack of next blue king, half ou of pawt and a hot and ready zah like that. we’re gonna have to start calling you kenneth scullion bro.”