Kentucky Mud Trumpet
n. a s-x act in which a male straddles himself above the face of his partner (male or female) who is lying on their posterior side. the other partner proceeds to give the standing male a handy (i.e. manual stimulation of the penile organ). whilst receiving said handy, the male places the large end of a cooking funnel under his -n-s. ideally the male will have eaten a large amount of shwarma for the s-x act to have the maximum impact. as the male receiving the handy nears completion, he strains his bowels, thusly relieving himself of all excrement into the funnel; the small end of the funnel is conveniently stored in the other partner’s mouth. all of the liquidy stool will be stored in the partner’s mouth while the other -j-c-l-t-s. there are two endings to this situation. the partner with the fecal matter in his/her mouth can swallow or spit into a freezer mug. a variation on the s-x act involves spitting the fecal matter back into his/her lover’s mouth, who then spit’s that fecal matter/saliva/vomit into the other’s b-tthole. this can be repeated ad infinitum. this variation is known as a louisville mud flugelhorn. when multiple people daisy chain this act together it is known as a kentucky mud trumpet derby.
tony: dude did you hear about a kentucky mud trumpet
bob: no
tony: yeah, it’s pretty gross dude.
bob: sweeet.
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