Kettering

town in northampton, ruined by the fact of it being closely related with corbywell known for its rivalry against the corby towners.
popular for numerous amount of chavs, of which most commonly are about 4ft tall and there vocabulary reaching only to the extent of ‘ennit’, ‘f–kin’ grebs’ and ‘i’ll proper bang you out!’
not only is there a vast number of chavs in the town – these are accompanied by the grebs. however, the only way you will p-ss these is if you dare to enter the lears of ‘greb gardens’, ‘morrisons’, or ‘downtown subway’.
if you are one of the many teens to fortnightly visit ‘keystone escape’ for there music gigs then you’ll know what i mean when i say that kettering is overrun by the ‘scene’ era. try a thursday night at ‘keystone’ for the chance to be abused by about 50 of the 4ft chavs.

well, in addition to the youths of kettering, you’ve got; litter, the rude and inconsiderate elderly, graffiti, vandalism, lack of good shops, the permenant stench, and my goodness the list could go on.

and they say that corby is bad.
‘hey you, what are you doing near kettering?
i say you run a few miles real quick!’
a small, typical imprint of suburbia located on the outer edges of dayton, ohio. it is a middle-cl-ss community characterized by a high rate of teen pregnancies, pigheaded republicans with views of the world dated pre-cold war, and incredibly ignorant b-mper stickers. it’s only recognizable claim to fame would be the alum of kettering fairmont high school, nancy cartwright (widely known as the voice of bart simpson). also, rob dyrdek (of mtv’s rob & big) is known to have attended fairmont’s not-so glorious cl-sses. other than boasting ohio’s most state-of-the-art (as well as expensive) high school music program, kettering has no real significance in the grand scheme of life in ohio. in closing, kettering is such a generally plain town in which to “live”, it is more commonly known by it’s teenage inhabitants as a place where souls go to die.
jill: hey, do you wanna come hang out with me this weekend?

jack: aren’t you from kettering?

jill: yeah?

jack: naahhhh, i’d rather not get ran over by bigoted wrinkle beasts driving sh-tty caddy’s with their preggo granddaughters in the backseat.

jill: ???

jack: sorry, it’s kettering
n. an imprint left on the skin after reclining on an uneven surface for a sustained period, commonly seen on face after sleeping in an unusual place
“i don’t know how i got there or what they did to me. all i know is i woke up sore and with kettering all over my face.”