kimbo slice

kimbo slice is a 32 year-old miami, florida based underground boxer and street fighter. he has appeared in three full length bare-knuckle fights available through the internet and p2p file-sharing networks.
kimbo slice is a crazy f-ckin fighter
a hugely overrated fighter who earned his fame by fighting guys on the street who had little or no fighting skill whatsoever. kimbo “kevin ferguson” slice made an attempt to start a career in mma in 2007, getting basically a free ride to the top, starring in the main events of giant mma promotions against, at best, mediocre fighters.

kimbo’s last “street fight” and only lose took place in a gym against m-ssachusetts police officer sean gannon. kimbo fans made excuses for kimbo’s loss, claiming gannon used illegal tactics during the fight, which was a street fight where no rules were stated to begin with. the fight got enough press that gannon was offered a one fight contract in the ufc against brandon lee hinkle.
gannon was thoroughly dominated and embarr-ssed during the first round of the fight, and lost via technical knock-out due to strikes. hinkle was then later released from the ufc after losing his next two fights in a row. this raised serious questions about the actual fighting skill of slice.

kimbo was signed in 2007 by the new mma promotion elitexc. after acc-mulating a record of 3-0 by beating bottom of the barrel fighters like bo cantrell and tank abbott, kimbo was supposed to face ken shamrock october 4th, 2008. shamrock was on a five fight losing streak, and sadly was probably kimbo’s biggest test yet. shamrock was forced to withdraw due to injury (cut above his eye). kimbo reluctantly agreed to fight a much smaller and fairly unknown fighter in seth petruzelli, for a pay increase to $500,000. petruzelli was a former ufc fighter and ultimate fighter partic-p-nt, but surprisingly was immediately marked as a large underdog to slice.

kimbo’s trainer, former ufc champion and mma legend bas rutten, was interviewed later and said that he had warned kimbo about petruzelli’s karate background and striking skill. his advice to kimbo was to keep the tempo slow at first until they were able to see how dangerous petruzelli was. kimbo refused to touch gloves before the fight with petruzelli in his typical unsportsmanlike manner, and the proceeded to completely ignore rutten’s advice and charge in like a bull. petruzelli defeated kimbo via technical knock-out 14 seconds into the first round.

this fight spelled immediate controversy, as suspicions of foul play came to rise soon afterward. many die hard kimbo fans ironically claim that kimbo was paid to throw the fight, which largely destroyed his mma career and the promotion he was signed with. excuses for the loss also came in the form of petruzelli getting lucky, and blaming the referee for an early stoppage. petruzelli also reported in an interview that elitexc officials had hinted that he should keep the fight standing, instead of going to the mat, where kimbo was by far the weakest.

in a win-win situation for ufc president dana white, white signed kimbo to be a contestant on the tenth season of the ultimate fighter reality tv show. if kimbo loses on the show, dana white will just say that he knew kimbo would lose all along. if kimbo wins, white will exploit his ridiculous star power to pull millions of fans (and dollars) to the ufc. white has been one of kimbo’s biggest critics, claiming that he is a joke and ruins mma’s image.

even if kimbo is able to prove these critics wrong and show that he can compete at the top of mma, his career will most likely be short lived, as he is already 35 years old. more likely, the ultimate fighter season 10 will be kimbo’s last attempt to resurrect the unprecedented hype that surrounded him in 2007 before he hangs his gloves up for good.
kimbo fan: “i can’t believe kimbo slice lost to that pink haired white boy!”
real mma fan: “are you serious? kimbo is terrible. it was just a matter of time.”
kimbo fan: “no he’s not he’s the best mma fighter ever!”
real mma fan: “i might agree if every other mma fighter on the planet were to die of a sudden death.”
one frightening motherf-cker!
i aint fighting kimbo slice. that sh-t aint even fair.
someone who gets knocked the f-ck out 14 seconds into a round, after everyone saying he’s the greatest fighter in the history of ever… guess not.
person 1: did you see that dood that always talks sh-t get his -ss kicked the other day?
person 2: yeah, his -ss got kimbo sliced.
kimbo slice (born 1976) is a miami, florida-based underground fighter. he has appeared in several bare-knuckle fights which have spread primarily on the internet.

lice has also worked as a bodyguard for the p-rnographic vip and milf hunter productions.1 rolling stone magazine has stated his age at 30 (in 2006) and called slice “the king of the web brawlers”.

this entry is an updated version of the previous one i submitted.
kimbo slice is one crazy street fighter, i wouldn’t thump with him.
queer whom everyone thought was the best fighter in the world until october 4, 2008 when he got his -ss kicked to a guy with pink hair who was about half his size in 8 seconds. and after he fights he tries to apologize to his audience and cries.
you almost just got beat as fast as kimbo slice.
why are you crying kimbo?
big, dumb gorill’er, possibly of the silverback species, that fights against men in mma. between matches it is kept in a cage and fed bananas. it is theorized it may be the missing link between man and ape.
back in more ignorant times, it was thought that women would be raped by silverback gorillas, known as kimbo slice, in the wild, but thanks to jane goodell, we know that chimps named chris brown smacking a b-tch is the only simian threat.

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