King’s Lynn

north norfolk town which during the tudor period was the most important port in britain.
how things change.
it’s is now a much ridiculed town wherin the inhabitants and those from the surrounding area are a sub-species of human known as ‘lynners’
traits of lynners include:
poor communication skills; ‘wha’ y’ sey’ buh?
owner of a concealed weapon of some description
wearer of cheap and tacky ‘bling’ bought from h samuels
wearer of fake brand names from labels
owner of 20 of the same type of baseball cap worn at a perfect 45 degree angle from the overly gelled fringe

see neanderthal man for further details
typical king’s lynn conversation…

bailey: y’ ri’ mate, wos hapnin wiv u an’ shazni
damian: wel’ i sh-gged her down fairstead dit i!
bailey: int she stil at kes?
damian: yeh man, shes 15 an’ got a kid already…
quite frankly the strangest town in the united kingdom. i once lived here, which i have to say is in a way a good thing because now i know never to go back again, but thank god i got out while i did, otherwise i might have been converted into a lynner (a typical king’s lynn person) the strange thing is, if you tell people who live here how bad the town is, they just dont get it! the fact that it’s in the fens means that the majority of people are inter-bred in some way, and, if you live in king’s lynn and you’re not inter-bred, there is a strong likelihood that instead you will be eastern european (polish or slovakian in this case). i mean the town itself is not too bad..i mean ok its boring and slightly dull, but its nothing worse than you’d expect of a town this size. it is the people. don’t get me wrong, you will occasionally come across the odd nice person…if you’re lucky. i have been to many places in the uk, and now live in blackpool,and haven’t visited anywhere quite as weird. i know what you’re thinking, blackpool, not the nicest place, but that is mainly due to fact it’s a seaside resort. there are actually nice bits, and even though there are people with not a lot of money, in general they are nice enough, and normal! in king’s lynn people are unfriendly, they stare at you if you look as though you’re not from the town (which is easy spot, trust me), and they talk with the most horrendous accent ever! i was walking through morrisons while i lived there and i heard a woman say to her husband

“ooo,that don’t look right, do it?”

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i mean come on, don’t tell me that’s normal. people here are weird!and another thing, everybody knows or is related everbody!! unless you visit the place for yourself, you cannot understand what i am saying. king’s lynn is, in my opinion the worst place to live in the uk and anybody who lives here by choice really needs psychiatric help. get out while you can, those of you who live there and are normal!
“isn’t king’s lynn great?” (coming from an inbred who lives there)
“you are joking? i would quite frankly rather die than go there, thanks very much”
a town in norfolk, england, also known as lynn, home to the fairstead estate.
entering said estate after dark will ensure your early demise. king’s lynn’s main inhabitants are inbred chavs, but despite this, there is also a large population of people who fit into the catagory of awesomesauce, e.g. juggling jim the street entertainer.
the walks, the large park in the centre of lynn, during the day is a nice place where families can go for walks, however, during the night it becomes home to the chav, leading to rape and murder.
basically avoid lynn at night, but don’t go to wisbech instead.
guy 1 : “coming to king’s lynn on sunday?”
guy 2 : “what time?”
guy 1 : “8pm mate, we’re going to the nightclubs”
guy 2 : “no thanks, i value my life”

guy 1 : “coming to king’s lynn on sunday?”
guy 2 : “what time?”
guy 1 : “11am, just going in to see some friends and then a film, we’ll be home before dark”
guy 2 : “sure thing, i’m in!”