kleptomaniac

a kleptomaniac is a person who is afflicted with kleptomania, a compulsion to repeatedly steal “worthless” items, such as keychains and small fruit.

it is unclear whether it is due to depression, or people who are seeking more control of their life, but there are very few cases where diagnosed kleptomaniacs have stolen expensive items along the lines of jewelry and automobiles.
winona ryder was caught shoplifting several times at a grocery store, and is believed to be a kleptomaniac.
a m-th-f-cka that just can’t seem to keep their hands of of other people’s shyt. for example, a person who goes into wal-mart and just has the urgency to open a pack of permanent markers just to steal the red and green ones, or the crazy -ss cl-ssmate that walks by and blatantly takes your brand spankin’ new lead pencil off of your desk.
this kleptomaniac b-st-rd just walked by and took my d-mn napkin…
someone who cannot resist taking a souvenir from every new place he/she visits. it can be something as simple as a pen of lollipop from a bank, ranging to a pair of w-ngster shorts belonging to a boy from another team at a track/cross country meet. kleptomaniacs are known to make up codenames for stolen items and their owners. also for excessive giggling.
(c-ssie and annie enter xc bus, giggling.)
annie: hey, you guys didn’t hear any weird noises, did you?
c-ssie: yea, your mom made some crazy noises last night!
monkey face: no… why?
annie: i will tell you later. not in front of britter.
guillerno: were you guys looking at trees?
britter: trees? don’t you mean flags? (cackles maniacally)
all: no! what are you talking about, victor?
coach: yea, victor, what are you talking about?
(all laugh at britter’s silliness.)
(later, on bus ride home, with britter safely terrorizing middle’uns.)
monkey face: okay, what is it?
annie: hold on. (lifts up shirt)
monkey face: whaaaat? oh my gosh!
(a traffic cone has been revealed under annie’s seemingly preggers belly.)
(c-ssie and annie cackle maniacally.)
monkey face: yalls are serious kleptomaniacs, dawg.
a b-st-rd who steals your sh-t and doesn’t think twice about it, a very compulsive r-t-rd
bill gates, the kleptomaniac, pirated my -n-s and my computers vitality, thus he is termed a kleptomaniac.