Knobby Knoll

quaint beach community near ramshackle sacket’s harbor, ny. numerous intoxicated residents disdainfully refer to each other as “kn-bby knollers”. ostensibly organized as a condo -ssociation with the rich distinction that the various units are actually shacks relegated to a maximum size slightly smaller than half a taco bell. residents lovingly refer to their uninsulated, droopy shacks as “cottages.” it is mostly populated by 3rd generation ne’r-do-wells, retirees who can’t see, and various self-important “mayors”. favorite past-times include patrolling for “interlopers” from the marina, mosquito hunting, booze on the beach, beers out back, wine in the woods, pabst on the porch, drinks on the deck, leaches on the leg, skinny dipping in the dark, bickering at beach fires, belittling those “in back”, doing it on the docks, and painting seagull rock. for an adult who has stayed sober enough to remain standing, the most exciting part of the day is being blinded by the sun slipping away. for kids, the most exciting time is bed time, where they happily sleep with sand in their bed, a lovely carcinoma-inducing sunburn, and their flea-infested best doggy friend by their side. once a year, residents celebrate “kn-bby knoll’ days where they trade junk and hold a parade to mock each other’s children and pets. on july 4th, many residents host illegal fireworks displays which they generally point at each others “cottages” and those residents viewing from the bank.
i strolled over to kn-bby knoll, but there were so many people p-ssed out that i kept tripping over ’em. i had a nice time kickin’ it at the white elephant until i ended up with a leach on my leg and a firecracker lodged in my posterior.