Konsolidate
konsolidate, written with a k and also known as “konsolidate-oh” is an extremely ruthless barber shop in south-east london. the name comes from a combination of two seemingly random words: killer and consolidate. the head barber there, called ‘wale’, is thought to be the sp-wn of the devil. he is known to give extremely harsh shape-ups, even inventing the level of -5, which is where he actually reshapes your head. he has been known to also cut hair from across the world, proven when he was visiting his family in africa, sensed some poor soul needed a haircut, and used juju to cut his hair. unfortunately, the kid did not survive. victims are known to have ‘the mark of wale’ shaven into their scalp, which looks like a crown, but is actually a ‘w’. if you do have an afro, and are in need of a haircut, you are advised to run, and run far. he’ll catch you eventually of course, but at least you will have gone down fighting.
-kid walks into school, bleeding from his head, scars all over across his face-
friend of the kid: oh my…what happened?
poor kid:…well i went to…
friend of the kid: let me guess, konsolidate? don’t worry, your hair will grow back…maybe.
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