Kotaku

a gaming blog full of simpering autistic imbeciles not unlike the gametrailers forums (though not nearly as abysmal). it’s users log on to post after they’re done w-nking off to laura croft p-rn.

kotaku users, as well as the bloggers feel the need to justify gaming in some way, such as treating it as a subculture and not a hobby, calling it an art form, or claiming that gaming is the center of american culture. this is most likely due to the cause that kotaku users are insecure nerds who get laughed at every time they admit they are a gamer, and instead of dealing with the scorn that the gaming hobby has always gotten, they act like pseudo intellectuals and judge bioshock for it’s art work and inspiration from a sh-tty writer (ayn rand) instead of the fun value it’s supposed to be judged by.

most entertaining, is the m-ssive b-tthurt that ensues every time a kotaku post is made about a celebrity or politician calling out the gaming hobby. barack obama admits he doesn’t understand gaming, kotaku posters b-tch and moan, prattling on about how they should have voted for mccain. jimmy page says he isn’t fond of guitar hero or other music games, kotaku users question the legacy of led zeppelin and preach how he will fade into obscurity if he doesn’t allow a song to be put in the game since guitar hero and rock band are the new sh-t (though even after thirty years since the band broke up, they still have a stronger fanbase than most mainstream musicians). roger ebert makes his opinion that he thinks video games are inferior to movies when it comes to storytelling, constant bawwing and comments calling ebert “a fat cancerous f-ck” fly like spit out of rush limbaugh’s mouth.
andy warhol: i don’t think games are art.

kotaku poster: bawwwww! your paintings suckzorz

prince: why don’t these guitar hero players just get a real g-

kotaku poster: baaaaawwww! music gaming is becoming moar importent to makign the industry survive

11 year old genius: i just think games are a waste of time.

kotaku poster: bwaahhh! u aren’t curing cancer! u need to get laid moar! everybody knos that gamers get moar girls than smart people
the place where journalistic integrity goes to die. supposedly a blog about gaming, but when you visit the front page you’ll struggle to find anything relevant. you’ll see random videos, cosplayer galleries, inside jokes, discussions about the editors’ personal lives, and a load of other bullsh-t. when they do get around to posting some actual news, it’s usually poached from better sites.

worse still is the commenting system. the editors love to play favorites, and will promote sycophancy with “stars” while censoring anything remotely critical. the commenters usually have nothing but praise for the staff, which is hardly shocking when you learn that they’ve been handpicked from the outset, having to “audition” in order to post. you’ll always see the same handful of “star” commenters making the same brainless posts. essentially, it’s one big circle jerk, and unless you’re ready to kiss some -ss, you’re not invited.
“i got banned by those n-z-s at kotaku for pointing out what a bunch of talentless hacks the editors are.”

“kotaku can kiss my -ss. those r-t-rds wouldn’t know journalism if it smacked them in the face.”

kotaku user: “durr hurr hurr, i love reading about the editor’s kids, toilet habits and food preferences because i’m a loser with no life. i have a gold star and make fifty posts a day on kotaku but i’ll still die alone, durr.”
when critics attack for kotaku for its lack of any journalistic integrity, kotaku members, frothing in the mouth, will immediately tell you that its “just a blog”. that’s absolute bullsh-t. when a news blog has as large of a following as kotaku does, its expected to have some f-cking journalistic integrity.

that basically sums it up. the writers are rhetorically challenged, get 99% of their material from other websites (at least they credit the website), and post up information often without double checking their sources.

the commenters have some sort of caste system going on, where commenters that suck the writers’ d-cks get “starred”, making their comments appear first and inflating their ego, but inadvertently also making them defend their star for their lives. the more b-llsy star commenters sometimes criticize the sh-t writing when its too sh-tty for even them to read, which basically equals them losing their star. the other commenters depend on the political beliefs and humor of the star commenters to even let their comments be seen, since the only comments that can be seen besides the star commenters’ are the ones promoted by them.
kotaku is the sh-ttiest gaming news website on the planet. it’s like the cad of gaming news. and don’t let me get started on gawker.
kotaku is a word invented by the website kotaku, it is a mixture of the j-panese word otaku, meaning geek/nerd, and the letter k, which when combined forms a url which is not otaku.com, which must have been taken at the time.

kotaku is commonly thought to be a video game news site, and also commonly thought to be a geek/otaku blog, it is neither, it is in fact an internet social experiment on how uninteresting commenters can be if they’re all terrified of being banned for not being good little tools.

kotaku is a mixed bag, with the topic at hand ever changing, but has hard hitting articles such as “don’t be h-m-phobic” and “look at the gifts sony/nintendo/microsoft sent me” and “look at this p-rn i found of final fantasy characters” and “who wants to yiff with me in second life?” and “talk amongst yourselves”.
mike fahey at kotaku likes to m-st-rb-t- to half-b-st–lity on second life.