Kumite
k-mite
the k-mite is a mythical, invitation only martial arts tournament with the deadliest fighters in the world, like jean-claude van damme
except it’s not mythical it’s real. it’s really real and is very similar to the mortal kombat tournament.
it is usually held on a far away mysterious island, so it’s a nice getaway. kind of like one of them all-inclusive vacation packages.
they cover room and food, everything (spa etc…) but they don’t cover incidental (alcohol), of course.
it’s nice, you get to catch up with old friends, see some really good matches, get a tan. good times.
it is also a deathmatch but everybody’s got to die sometime. you kill one man; you kill a dozen. it’s all the same, they can only hang you once.
whenever you say “k-mite” it is, always, followed by a fighting sound effect.
“you think i knew she was a killer kung-fu wolf b-tch?! she didn’t say nothing about no k-mitie, k-mitoo, k-mite, koom, black c–n. now y’all just hush i’m trying to think of what we gonna do”
k-mite (eyyah!)
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