Labor-Tooth Tiger
the labor-tooth tiger toils around the clock, and will often times go without eating, sleeping or socialization until the task is completed. common characteristics of the labor tooth tiger include dry-wall dust in the hair, paint-splattered t-shirts and gr-ss-stained tennis shoes. the labor-tooth can most often be found in their natural habitat of lowe’s or home depot, but are sometimes spotted in smaller hardware stores and specialty shops, depending upon the task at hand.
the labor-tooth prides itself on a job well done and will routinely “overkill” a project to ensure that every “worst case scenario” is addressed. therefore, a project that is originally estimated to take five days, frequently results in a month or more of household disruption. this “overkill instinct” can sometimes lead to restlessness and conflict between the labor tooth and the significant others in his life. however, the labor-tooth will always win any conflict situation dealing with home repair projects, as he holds all the power tools firmly in his grasp.
older labor-tooth tigers are usually easier to find in the wild because of the loud groaning noises they make upon rising to a standing position. additionally, the older tigers’ stripes have faded to a gray color and their reflexes are slightly slower than their younger counterparts.
labor tooth tigers are extremely handy to have around, especially when a toilet overflows, or a hole needs to be patched in a wall. nearly extinct, the labor tooth cautiously guards their homestead and runs off all “for hire laborers.”
“hey where’s dave?”
“oh he’s at the hardware store again.”
“he’s such a labor-tooth tiger…”
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