Lakes High School

a modern cesspool of poorly educated, unadapted, evolutionary throwbacks confined into a small (badly constructed) building, curiously undiscovered by civilized society for generations.

the inhabitants are often (but not always) maintained by “teachers,” who, for the most part, are even less informed than the throwbacks themselves, and can typically be found reading stephanie meyer novels and gorging on buckets of kgc; they are compensated by the state under the guise of being “educators,” though they are frequently uneducated, and maintain poor personality skills, professional decorum, and personal hygiene.

all inhabitants (“educators” included) are ignorant to the woes of the world. they have, in fact, been living under a rock for most of their lives, and will only accept facts which are presented to them via rap music, stephanie meyer, emo bands, will ferrel, and/or barrack obama (himself).

over time, inhabitants have been known to grow hostile and short-tempered. frequent fights begot custom – it is considered customary for an inhabitant to challenge another in much the same fashion as a wild mountain goat might: head down, shoulders rounded, feet churning. challenger and challenged often collide violently, leaving both disoriented and empty-headed (though it is not yet known whether this species is even born with a brain to begin with).

such customs have resulted in a subsequently noted “football program,” as outsiders who witness the fights stagger to find an explanation, often turning to the world of modern sports.

inhabitants of a lakes high school continue to breed and to p-ss on their culture – when asked about their goals for the future, lakes high schoolers gave a series of grunts and quizzical expressions.
it is suspected that they lack most basic communication skills.
tourist 1: hey! is that a pile of reanimated neanderthal corpses right there beside that 7-11?

tourist 2: no, that’s just lakes high school.