lap house


you know one of those houses you walk into, and it’s so freakin’ filthy, that you really don’t wanna sit down, but you make yourself do it just to be nice. therefore you keep your hands on your lap at all times, because the fact that your b-tt has to touch this couch is more than enough. cuz this is the place the where you just might happen to look over and see a rat whispering sweet nothings into your ear, or look down and see a roach polishing your shoes with three little roach hands out asking you for change.
and you just know all 13 of those cats are secretly plotting to kill u ….slowly.
you’ve been in that house before…. you don’t need an example.

okaaaaayyyy…

maaan, me and that preacher were trapped up in that dude’s lap house for an hour and a half talkin’ ’bout jesus, and the whole time i was like “jesus don’t wanna come in here! ….i think i inhaled some dog hair.”

man i gotta get up and get on these ch-r-s. my crib’s startin’ to look like a real lap house.

(note- term can also be applied to a fitting mode of transportation, i.e. “lap car” or “lap truck”. however, “lap snowmobile” or “lap motorcycle” does not apply, due to the non-enclosed nature of these vehicular transports. besides, who wants to ride a snowmoblie or a motorcycle with their hands in ther lap? why, that’s just downright foolhardy and dangerous.)

(alt. term: “cr-p house”. house so dirtry you turtle-head’n like a prarie dog cuz you really don’t wanna take a cr-p there! ….plus it looks like utter cr-p.)

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