lead foot

figurative term for a person who has a propensity to drive very fast.
cop: “alright, lead foot. you know how fast you were going back there?”
person: “i’m sorry, sir, but-”
cop: “you’ll shut up if you know what’s good for you. now you were doing 75 in a 45, and i’m gonna throw the book at you.”
person: “please, sir-”
cop: “quiet, boy. don’t you go anywhere, i’ll be back.”
(20 minutes later)
cop: “now you can either show up in court on this date, or pay this $300 fine. what were you in such a hurry for anyway?”
person: “taking my grandma to the emergency room. now she’s dead, you dumb f-cking pig.”
cop: “oh, sorry…uh, watch your speed.”
(cop leaves and pulls into krispy kreme)
a curious medical condition of the right pedal extremity that afflicts millions of drivers worldwide. while the disease is much more prevalent among males, females have also been known to contract it.

symptoms include tailgating, jackrabbit starts, burnouts, clutch dumps with advanced cases often leading to modding, nos usage, turbocharging and an addiction to motor sports or even street racing.

there is no known cure for this disease, but common treatments include speeding tickets, license suspension, and (in extreme cases) the purchase of a toyota prius.

related diseases include leadwrist (motorcyclists), pistonheaditus (the uncontrollable desire to make a vehicle go faster, often using methods not approved by the manufacturers, law enforcement, or polite society), and needlepoint.

many famous people suffer from this disease, including paul newman, nicolas cage, jay leno, and jeremy clarkson.

note: this affliction is not related to the 70’s rock band led zeppelin, but there is a known increase in leadfoot severity while listening to “the immigrant song”.
joe’s leadfoot was always getting him into trouble when he drove, but he couldn’t help it. when the light changed, the gas pedal went to the floor, every time.
one person who you usually is a guy and drives like he stole it. goes fast as f-ck and put the pedal to the medal or mashes it to the floorboard.
when craig gets into his lincoln, he put the medal to the medal to waxx everyones -sses as he drives by his b-tches house!!
a superhero. he gets from place a to place b in a matter of seconds, (in his leadmobile aka camry car) no matter how far the places are. even if he is masmoo5 out of his brains, he still possesses and controls the “leadfoot” power. the leadfoot is from libya.
girl:hey i need to be in the airport in 10 minutes.. i think i might miss this plane..

guy: hey dont worry about it i’ll call leadfoot.

leadfoot. nanananana leadfooot leadfoot
the ghost of picher miner. he was thrown in a mineshaft to cut labor cost. he now haunts the woods of picher killing everything
holy sh-t! leadfoot! run!!!
someone who has a heavy foot.
saints accidentally step on a co-worker’s foot. her co-worker says “dang, you got a lead foot. ouch!”