libergenditis


a condition that affects a subset of roughly 25% of the general population, the majority of which being those individuals that are more conservative in ideology. the root cause is unknown but certain triggers have been identified as a catalyst to its malignancy. once affected the individual rapidly devolves, displaying an overtly phobic reaction to humanistic advancement causing a great deal of suffering, for themselves, their fellow man and the surrounding environment.

as to the catalyst, the usage of certain words (libergenda, welfare, intellect, janeane garofalo, and oddly, t-t mouse) within a town hall will cause the resulting sound waves to reverberate in a peculiar pattern. when exposed to a republican, the waves will latch onto the frontal lobe resulting in a highly irrational fear of science, artistic expression, literary lat-tude and an overall reluctance to engage in anything involving thought processes.

recent studies have shown that when exposed to a tea bagger, without amplification, the unrestricted utterance of these words yield sound waves that byp-ss the frontal lobe all together and imbed deep within the amygdaloidal body of the brain, causing a nearly irreversible negative synergistic effect resulting in verbal convolution, an abnormal discontinuity in the senses, fidgets, disillusionment, the attempt to render warped reality into actuality, and the sudden ability to create propagandistic signage.
as of yet, no know cure exists, although treatment in the form of higher education has proved to be somewhat effective in reversing the majority of the symptoms. however, a greater barrier to treatment is convincing those afflicted with the condition that help is available and that the stigmatic barriers in accepting their condition and seeking treatment, are themselves a part of the disillusionment.

jimbo: “what ails ya jefferson?”

jefferson: “doc says i got the ‘libergenditis’. p-ss me that paint now… i gotta finnish this sign”

jimbo: “it sure is purdy.”

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