lincoln log

the beaded t-rds that hurt to push out and remind you of something you found in your mom’s dresser once
i ripped a lincoln log recently and it almost tore up my b-tthole!
no, no, no! you’re all wrong. a lincoln log is when you drop a loaf that’s so big and solid that it by itself (without any t.p.) can plug the toilet. if the toilet doesnt plug then it’s not a lincoln log. officially it has to be one of those high pressure flushing public bathroom toilets for it to be a real lincoln log. you know, those toilets that flush with the sound of a jet taking off. ever since my good friend big head ed introduced eating regular fiber in his diet n-body has been able to create real lincoln logs, so out of traditional honour the standard has dropped to any type of toilet. and please people, lets capitalize the words lincoln log. show some respect for its glory!
mike: “ah! yuck, somebody p-ssed a smelly ol’ lincoln log in this public washroom!”
albert: “i kind of like that smell”
other person in the washroom: “that’s gross!”
big old t-rds, so solid you could stack them.
a fantastic toy. has been in existance for at least 50 years. vaguely reminiscent of legos, but made of wood instead of the cheap, brightly-colored plastic that so dominates the toy market today. these pieces of wood were round, and maybe a foot long, and were notched, such that you could build a real log cabin, but one that would fit in a corner of your room. all you had to do was make a square with 4 logs and line up the little notches, with the left and right sides under the top and bottom sides (or the other way around). then add two more logs. and two more. repeat until your cabin was as tall as you wanted it to be. a very simple process, but it was really cool. it also had some sort of a roof, though i don’t remember exactly how that worked; i just remember the roof was green.
lincoln logs were cl-ssic.
skidmarks times ten! t-rds in your pants as if you didn’t wipe your -ss or even worse make it to the toilet at all!
mitch: “what the f-ck is that smell?”
wayne: “i don’t know why are you looking at me?”
sean: “oh sh-t! you did it again wayne! i can see the t-rds bulging out the back of your underwear, you have some serious f-cking lincoln logs!”
term used to describe the act of sh-tting small loaflets or mini fecal logs that crisscross in the bowl to form a log cabin underwater like the lincoln log toy set we used to have as kids.
i shat licoln logs again, must be them d-mned pretzels.
poor lesbians makeshift d-ld-. ability to increase girth with duct tape.
i like the licoln log deep in my v-g-n-. who’s up for a lincoln log ride?